Men Are Expendable

January 29th, 2009 by Pelle Billing

Throughout human history, and to this very day, societies around the world have tended to view female lives as more valuable than male lives. This sentiment is regularly expressed in a variety of ways. Women and children first. You should be ready to die protecting your woman and your family. A real man will fight for his country, and a coward will run off and avoid the draft.

Men have consciously or unconsciously always been considered to be the expendable or disposable sex. This may sound like a horrible stance, and it certainly is when viewed through a more modern and humanistic lens, but this way of looking at men is actually quite understandable when viewed through a historical and evolutionary lens. As I wrote in my previous post, the simplest way to understand the phenomenon of the disposable man is that women have always needed to be kept safe to ensure that the next generation is large enough for a culture to thrive, whereas it’s been beneficial to cultures to have men risk their lives in order to create wealth and influence. For now, however, let’s leave history behind and look at our own times.

If you have any familiarity with feminism at all, then you’ve probably heard (perhaps more times than you care to remember) that men are privileged. In a traditional society men are the ones who get to hold down jobs and have a salary, as well as have a voice and influence in the public sphere. Women, however, are confined to the home and not allowed to be part of the public sphere on the same terms as men. As true as this may be, the disadvantages of being responsible for the public sphere are rarely discussed in a feminist discourse.

The male responsibility to handle matters in the public sphere, comes with the expectation to risk your life or at the very least your health. Men are police officers, firemen, soldiers, miners, oil platform workers, construction workers and garbage collectors (yes, collecting garbage is more dangerous than you may have ever considered). Men do these jobs without complaining, and oftentimes without getting any special recognition for the dangers they face. Usually these jobs aren’t very well paid, nor considered high status.

Not all male jobs in the public sphere have been or are dangerous of course. However, the more well-paid jobs where you don’t face physical dangers, usually mean very long working hours and an expectation to work overtime. Having a successful career has usually meant that men have had to sacrifice spending time with their family and loved ones. So it’s actually very hard to think of a male job in the public sphere that hasn’t been accompanied by substantial sacrifice.

I think it’s perfectly OK to point out the imbalance between men and women that has existed in the public sphere, with women basically having been shut out for a very long time. However, to simply label this a form of male privilege, and not discuss the very obvious drawbacks and responsibilities that accompany men in the public sphere – is not something I’m comfortable with. If we are attempting to do a sophisticated analysis of gender roles in a traditional society, then we need to have as full a picture as possible of the situation. Pretending that men have been given a good deal at the expense of women is simply not accurate: men have paid a very high price for being responsible for the public sphere.

Transcending the notion that men are expendable, and uncovering the unconscious belief that the lives of women are more valuable than the lives of men, is something of primary importance in a gender liberation movement beyond feminism. This does not mean that men need to be stripped of their dangerous jobs, or that women should be forced to do exactly half of the dangerous jobs. Not at all! Men may actually be more prone to take on these roles and jobs due to a mixture of cultural expectations and biological traits, and we need to let men and women be free to choose the jobs they want.

What bothers me though is that the feminist agenda often pushes for equal salaries for men and women, while forgetting that every person (usually a man) performing a dangerous job should be compensated for this financially. We cannot expect men to keep on doing the dirty, dangerous, outdoor jobs while telling them that their wages are to be the same as women who do office tasks of similar qualifications but in safe, indoor settings.

It’s also crucial that we keep on improving the safety regulations in all professions where physical safety is an issue. Doing so will send a loud and clear message that we do care about the lives of men, and that no longer will men be considered expendable entities whose lives can be sacrificed in order to create wealth. If men can be considered to be intrinsically valuable, even when they do not perform, then we will have taken a huge leap towards gender liberation.

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55 Responses to “Men Are Expendable”

  1. Dennis Andreev Says:

    Hi!
    I think you make an interesting argument — it’s true that some typically “male” jobs carry greater risks, both physical, mental and financial, than other jobs; I do, however, find your argument flawed in a number of ways.
    Firstly, there are a number of typically female jobs that can be characterized as “dangerous” according to your definition. Nurses, of course, face a high risk of contracting a potentially lethal disease. Flight attendants (who by far outnumber the predominantly male pilots) have to deal with the possibility of technical failure, human error (a factor beyond their control) and terrorist attack. The dangers facing striptease dancers and prostitutes are also obvious. You present no convincing statistics showing that more men work in more dangerous jobs than women.
    The more important flaw in your argumentation, however, is that you seem to exclusively focus on who’s jobs are riskier and completely disregard the question of choice: women to a large extent do not have the possibility to choose the risky jobs even if they want them. It is no doubt much more difficult for a woman to make a career in mining or oil drilling than it is for a man (not to mention more high profile work, like that of a CEO or a prominent politician). Simply put, even in a modern Western society a man has a greater leeway when choosing between a “high risk” and a “low risk” profession than a woman. Men are therefore privileged, not because they hold the high risk positions, but because they have the freedom to choose whether to do so or not. Feminism (or equalism, if you like; “feminism” is a rather unsatisfactory term) must therefore focus on creating equality of opportunity, not actual equality of fact.
    Finally it must be pointed out that the distinction between “dangerous” and “safe” jobs has limited practical implications — the vast majority of jobs involve no actual risk to the employee’s life or health; to see all of society through the prism of this distinction and thereby brush off complaints about inequality in the workplace would be to simplify away a complex problem.

  2. Pelle Billing Says:

    Thanks for your comment Dennis.

    I agree that women can have dangerous jobs as well, and that this leads to women dying at work. However, the evidence is overwhelming that men are at much greater risk than women. For example, in Canada, men were 30 times more likely to die at work than women were in 2005, and this is but one example. You can check the statistics of pretty much every country and you’ll see that men are much more likely to die and become injured due to occupational hazards.

    I agree that women did not have a choice to work in the past, but nowadays they do have a choice in many countries. However, in all modern countries where women have the choice to work, they tend to shy away from dangerous, dirty, outdoor jobs. Men generally do not have the choice to pass up these kinds of jobs, because men are still the primary providers in almost any family. Women have the choice to work or stay at home, men have no choice and are expected to bring home a decent salary each month. So I don’t agree that men are more free or have more choices than women. In the past both genders were equally constricted (in different ways) and nowadays liberated women tend to have more choices than men do.

    I don’t agree that most jobs pose no danger to the employee’s health. A wide range of occupations involve at least some measure of danger, and even so called “safe” jobs may come with high demands and high stress levels. Women in modern countries who can now choose the lifestyle that men have had (i.e. work fulltime), tend to have their life expectancy decrease! So who is really free and empowered? The person who’s forced to work fulltime away from the family, and die a premature death, or the person who’s free to spend quality time with the children?

    I’m not saying that you’re all wrong in what you’re saying, but there is an unarticulated side in the gender debate. These issues are much more complex than feminism would have us believe…

  3. Culture Wars: The Need for a Culture to Be Competitive › Pelle Billing . com Says:

    [...] Billing . com Gender Liberation Beyond Feminism « Feminism is a lousy name… Men Are Expendable [...]

  4. hampus Says:

    Yeah, this we get often, us males are not political priority, just convenient scource of resources to reap without any form of reciprokation. Because we are guilty, right?

    I’m so angry.

  5. Ron Says:

    I can confirm that here in Sweden 67 men died at work in 2007, whereas 2 women died.

  6. Why Feminism Came First Says:

    [...] away from the plight of men. We all know about men’s dominance of the public sphere, but not men’s expendability in the public and private sphere. Men working long days away from home is considered a privilege, [...]

  7. Akshay Says:

    It really bleeds my heart out for my fellow men and how everyone manipulates us from the day we r born. Women just to make sure their evil and selfish needs get met do this purposely. But men have to take the blame for this situation mostly. Most men live at the mercy of their sex drive which gives the opportunity to women to exploit us. Its incredible how much abuse and manipulation a man can take just to get laid.

    Lets face it, the only power a woman has over a man….is “whore powers”. Diffuse ur inner lust and u have defeated the modern predatory female’s main weapon, to control u through sex.

    All this manipulation from women, government, religions and other evil groups can stop in a second if a man can control his sex drive. Many tell me, whats wrong with having a high sex drive, isn’t this natural. I bet it is, but nature didn’t give us feminism, womens’ greed did. Nature didn’t design a system whose entire function is to use men to support worthless women. The whole DV industry, Divorce industry, Child Support industry and many more are based on one simple fact. Separate the horny male from his money and give it to women. This is reality. If u don’t believe me look around and u will see this clearly.

    Its time to stop this. The solution is easy if u have willpower. If u really want to strike a blow against women and their hate movement then don’t get married, no relationships, no dating. Have nothing to do with women. Let them rot in hell. U see one get murdered, raped, skinned alive its her problem not urs. To hell with the Government and Religion who thinks u r expendable. Forget patriotism for a country who gives a damn about u. Enjoy ur life, have some hobbies, travel abroad, keep all ur money and I repeat….NEVER EVER GET MARRIED. I know its easier said than done, but thats why u will need a lot of willpower. Remember, there will be many who will try to distract u from ur goal, by either using shaming tactics or manipulation. Don’t give in. Always remember, in the end they are the one who will end up in the divorce court paying child support, not u. So, good luck.

  8. Pelle Billing Says:

    Akshay, you seem to have a radical masculist view of things, which is pretty much the opposite of radical feminism. Radical feminists blame everything on men, and want nothing to do with men. In your case, you seem to blame a lot of stuff on women, and to want nothing to do with women.

    Personally I recognize that two centuries of feminism have created an imbalance between the sexes, and men’s issues have been silenced for a long time. I can understand that this makes you angry, it used to make me angry a lot of the time and sometimes still does. However, I don’t hate women, nor would I ever use expressions such as “whore powers”.

    I think the way forward needs to be intelligent debate, and making men’s voices be heard. Let’s focus on what we want, instead of focusing on what we don’t like.

  9. Pierce Harlan Says:

    I have just discovered this post from reddit. While I don’t disagree with it, it skirts two fundamental points that go to the heart of it.

    First, the supposed “privileges” afforded males are the result of eons of human interaction where, with complicit assent of both genders, roles were assigned to each. Sadly, any discussion of “male privlege” has undertones suggesting that men took “privileges” from women by force, which only occurred in isolation (and in Women’s Studies texts) and not as a result of any societal compact. The natural redistribution of gender roles that is occurring is not a manifestation that women have finally “prevailed.” It’s a manifestation that the old gender roles no longer serve the needs of society and that people have decided they need to be adjusted.

    Second, any discussion of the value of traditional men’s and women’s work borders on the silly. The free market decides how much people are paid. Very, very few women apply to be window washers on tall buildings. If daycare workers suddenly were paid more than oil rig workers, you’d have a ton of oil rig workers apply for those jobs. When feminists talk about wage equity, they often are implicitly suggesting the free market should be at least partially overthrown — we need to see this radical suggestion for what it is.

  10. Pelle Billing Says:

    Good points Pierce. The two (or three) points you make are at the heart of my work, and you summarize them in a very succinct way.

  11. Chris Marshall Says:

    I meet considerable resistance from women when I try to bring up the issue of the disposability of men as a disadvantage of being male.

    It just occurred to me that that might be because the fact that men bear the brunt of risk taking, most notably in the role of soldier and policeman, is often used by society to regard women as more like children than need to be protected than as adults equal to men.

    Of course, this put down to women doesn’t do the average man any good, but does give society ammunition to “keep women in their place.”

    I can understand, given this, why most women would hesitate to take the issue of the disposability of men seriously, beyond the reason most people would hesitate to take the issue seriously (i.e. if we seriously discuss it, society can no longer take it for granted and it becomes harder to dispose of men as need be).

    I wonder if your excellent discussion of the disposability of men shouldn’t display this put-down to women front and center, alongside the obvious disadvantage to men of being disposable.

    I’m going to run this by a few of the feminists I regularly argue with on reddit and see how it strikes them.

    p.s. Here’s the outline I propose working into your article:
    1. Society actively encourages men to risk life and limb while active discouraging women from doing so.
    2. This strategy has been so successful throughout history at increasing wealth and power, that every society that didn’t adopt it was absorbed into the neighboring societies that did.
    3. The obvious disadvantage to men of this strategy is that their lives held to be worth less than those of women.
    4. The obvious disadvantage to women of this strategy is that their ambitions are held to be worth less than those of men. This caused society to, among other things, value the education of women less, and to shut them entirely out of the role of starting/running businesses and entering politics until rather recently.
    5. Another, less obvious, disadvantage to women is that their lack of risk taking is taken as evidence that they are not worthy of full adulthood, since they don’t bear an equal share of the burden of defending society from invasion and natural disasters.

  12. Danny Says:

    Nice outline Chris mind if I suggest a 6th item?

    6. Another disadvantage to men of this strategy is that if a man does not engage in such risky behavior then he thought to not be a “real” man and thus not an adult.

    As for the feminists you plan to run this by I wonder if they will go beyond “Well men are in charge!” (as if a subset of men being in charge gives the greenlight to ignore male suffering) and actually think about it. I really hope you come back and share their thoughts.

  13. Pelle Billing Says:

    Chris, that’s an excellent list! Thank you so much for sharing it.

    Danny: good additional point.

  14. L.Lee Says:

    The unfairness of gender “equality” has bothered me for some time. Even before feminism, when I was a little lad, I can remember asking a teacher, at school why it was the boys who had to carry chairs and not girls. The teacher, a man, I have to add, said we should be pleased that there was something we could do better than girls! (This was in 1955)
    I can also remember receiving no satisfactory answer – in fact, no answer at all! – to my asking why it was “girls first”.

    The discussion I have been reading on your site…is excellent!

  15. Pelle Billing Says:

    L.Lee,

    Yes, “the other half” of gender equality is just starting to be explored, and it’s a very exciting topic. I’m glad you like the blog – I agree that the comments I get are excellent.

  16. Stu Says:

    Cant see why anybody would be interested in what the feminists think. We already know what they think….they think…….women are entitled to everything they want and also to have no responsibility or accountability to anyone or anything.

    Therefore, they will debunk any idea or thought that men have anything but advantages…….in every area…….and always have. They will still be saying this even when they earn twice as much as any man…..live twice as long…….and men live in chains under the whip. Every feminist I’ve ever spoke to sill maintains that feminism is about equality……then how come a woman can through me out of my house just by saying that she feels threatened…..without me doing anything…..or me threatening to do anything. Just her feelings that I will is enough…….and when have men had this power…….or to take the properties and possessions that were entirely paid for and owned by a woman before you met them…….or to take the kids and make them work to pay for them.

    These a just a few examples of powers that women have that men have not…….so if feminism is about equality then why are feminists still continuing to campaign to increase womens right in family law…….when they already have far more rights then men. Answer…..because feminism is not……and has never been about equality…….it’s about female control…….domination……and using men to get what they want. That is all it’s about…….and all it has ever been about.

    There is no point discussing things with feminist……ignore them…ignore women….that guy that said it all up above is right. I have totally had nothing to do with women for several years…..after being used up and spat out broke and homeless from to marriages…..and looking at nearly ever man my age or older having similiar experiences…….I believe the way to combat feminism is reverse of what most men do…….ignore them……have nothing to do with them…..use ever opportunity to make formal complaints about them…..at work…….in the restaurant……complain about their service……..don’t let them get away with substandard anything….merely because they are women. We should start a single straight guys network. Try to buy goods and services from single guys as much as possible……avoid sending money to women by any and every means. Try to be as attractive as possible……clean….well dressed……fit……and knock back any advance or flirting behavior from a woman…..and make it hurt.

    Lets let women know that the way they are……the way the laws are……they aren’t going to be able to interest us……and take away the power we give them by sucking up and being nice to them because they are pretty….and being lead by our cocks like lambs to slaughter.

  17. Stu Says:

    By the way……the time I have been having nothing to do with women has been the most prosperous and fun time in my life. I have accumulated more assets per year and have had more freedom then ever before. I don’t date, I don’t have women as friends….that’s my choice….not theirs. I reject them. I never allow them to come into my home unless it’s business or something like a friend who is stupid enough to have a girlfriend coming over. I engage in no social chit chat……refuse to go to weddings etc. This might sound tough………go to a brothel now and again if you must…..but have nothing else to do with them…..pay in cash….and tell them nothing about yourself. Personally I just jerk off every single morning without fail…even if I don’t feel like it……..I keep my gun unloaded all the time……..it makes it easy to not be attracted to the bird at the cafe that I get my lunch from with her tits hanging out from appealing to me. Oh…..one more thing……don’t tip women…..never. Your already tipping every woman in the land by paying taxes for womens services of every kind under the sun that you can not get any benefit from….so don’t give them any more.

  18. Mark Davenport Says:

    @ Stu,

    The pain and anger you express makes it pontless to remark on any merits of the issues you raise. What happened to you that most of us are not feeling to nearly such a degree?

  19. Pelle Billing Says:

    Stu, you seem to have chosen the MGTOW path (Men Going Their Own Way). That is a radical step to take, but obviously it’s a choice available to any man (or woman) in a free society.

    I can very much understand why you would refrain from marrying, if you live in the US. I would never get married in the US, though I may do so at some point in Sweden (Swedish laws are very different, there’s no such thing as alimony). However, could you tell me more about why you refrain from interacting with women altogether?

  20. Charlotte Says:

    I was with you up until the point where you said that because men do the majority of un-safe jobs, women shouldn’t have equal pay for equal work. If I’m understanding you correctly, that’s quite a stretch. The majority of those men choose their jobs.

    Dangerous work must be done. Evolutionarily, women did not do dangerous work because they were busy having/guarding children. In modern era, many women choose to not have children. They instead pick a field they can be useful to society in. Perhaps they choose a dangerous field. Perhaps they are physically incapable of handling a dangerous job. So what? Those women who do not, or cannot choose a dangerous job should be economically “punished” for not having children? That’s a dangerous idea in a world as over-crowded as ours is. We need outlets for non-breeding adults to have fulfilling lives.

    For those who do choose to have kids, should women be paid for having children? What if she didn’t really want to have kids, but had one for her partner anyway?

    (Playing Devil’s Advocate a bit…)

  21. Doni Says:

    Hey Stu!
    Good Job! I really like the idea of guys like you letting women know right where you stand.I will not assume you are gay because of you lifestyle choice, like some people would.I respect that women and men aren’t meant to be together all the time,and from all the women who’s personal choice is a family and relationship, not personal wealth and power, we thank you for not wasting our time, if there were only more among you who were as honest.
    P.S.
    Hopefully soon you won’t even need the brothels.

  22. Christina Says:

    One of the points from this article is about equal pay for men and women. I would like to point out that it’s not that men and women should be paid equally across the board, for whatever job they may have… but that men and women doing the same JOB should be paid the same. A female manager of a Home Depot makes $14.45 per hour where a male manager of the same department makes $16.63. With both having Bachelor’s degrees and both having roughly 20 years of experience in the same field, why the inequality?

    Female administrative assistants do not want to be paid like the male CEO they assist… that wouldn’t make sense. But the female admin asst wants, and SHOULD, be paid something equal to the male admin asst that works the next cubicle over.

    Granted, education and experience play a part in the pay-game and the men deciding wages have been using that excuse for years. But with recent stats showing more women than men enrolling in higher education, women may push past that first hurdle yet. And as far as experience is concerned, it’s a slow uphill climb but with more female-owned businesses interested in equality, women may find in the future that the pay-game that men play is actually game-over.

    I feel sad for the men on here who have expressed so much rage and insecurity. I have noticed that many men walk around with a centuries-long swagger of entitlement but with the advances women are making coming faster and more frequently, it only makes sense that those men with little to offer will begin feeling threatened and insignificant. Why not become a part of a more compassionate, empathic, dynamic society instead of lashing out at the humans with breasts who scare you?

    Good luck with the staying away from women (no dates, no relationships, etc.) The world is probably better off without guys like you breeding anyway.

  23. Catherine Says:

    Beyond the sacrifice of health or life by men, we might also consider the social sacrifice. For a long time now, women have held the power in conversation, connection, and relationship building. As a result of being isolated from female learning, and feeling the need to hold onto elite power, they have not been allowed the social dominance that women have. It is certainly a trade off. Yes, women have been oppressed. Would I trade being female for being male in this culture? Not for the world.

  24. keatonjazz Says:

    I agree with most of this article. I am sometimes afraid to call myself a feminist because I feel opposed to the word itself- I am all for equal rights, but I feel that feminism currently focuses too heavily on correcting the wrongs inflicted upon women, and often ignoring the problems that men face. I am surely a feminist, but I see men facing issues of inequality every day.

    Of course men work more dangerous jobs on average. Of course a person, male or female, should be compensated for their extra risk. And of course the person who should be hired for that position should be the most qualified- which means that yes, sometimes for biological reasons, men will be chosen over women. This does not mean, however, that men are always considered more expendable than women.

    I do agree that we tend to view men as more expendable in the realm of war and the workplace. However, I would disagree that the lives of men are less valued in other ways. What about all of the violence against women? Domestic abuse? Sexual assault? Crimes that end in injury or death? When these crimes are against women, people can often times defend the perpetrator, blaming the crimes on the women themselves. Women are also oftentimes viewed as less competent than a man for no other reason than her gender. How is a woman supposed to be able to get a job if she is viewed as fundamentally inferior? How is a woman supposed to defend herself against abuse or even compete for a dangerous job if she is, on average, at a biological disadvantage (in terms of physical competency)?

    I agree wholeheartedly that the plights of men go mostly unnoticed, and that with the responsibility that goes with equality of influence in the public sphere must be weighed. However, I don’t agree that men do not still possess cultural and social advantages over women in this area. I can’t wait until we see people being hired fairly and paid what they deserve, completely independent of gender. I can’t wait until we put the same value on all lives, whether it refers to danger in war or the workforce, or whether it refers to danger on the streets and in the home.

    As far as the views of Akshay and Stu, I can *almost* understand them. I entirely understand the point of view that regards females as using sex as a weapon. In fact, I can to a degree, AGREE. Women DO use sex as a weapon, but it is only because it is sometimes all they have. Women are raised in a society that tells them to protect their virginity at all costs, to abstain from proclivity, to stay “pure.” Women are told that men only want one thing. Men are told that women need to be won over so they will “give it up.” These things are detrimental to BOTH sexes. High sex drive is not unnatural for either sex. Both women and men should feel comfortable having safe, consensual sex. Sex should not be used as a weapon. Men should not be forced to buy a woman drinks for a chance at sleeping with her, and women should not let them. Women should not be forced to make excuses when she DOES have sex to avoid being called a “whore” or a “slut.”

    Neither women nor men are trying to gain power over the other. Both sexes want respect, equality, and freedom. Demonizing either will get us nowhere.

  25. Pat Kibbon Says:

    Christina Says:
    June 7th, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    A female manager of a Home Depot makes $14.45 per hour where a male manager of the same department makes $16.63. With both having Bachelor’s degrees and both having roughly 20 years of experience in the same field, why the inequality?

    Why indeed? Why does Home Depot pay $16.63 to get a job done when they can get the same job done for the discount rate of $14.45? Why are they willing to pay the premium rate to hire a man?

    …the female admin asst wants, and SHOULD, be paid something equal to the male admin asst that works the next cubicle over.

    So, why is there a male administrative assistant in the next cubicle when a female would be less expensive?

    *************************************

    keatonjazz Says:
    June 7th, 2010 at 9:38 pm

    Women DO use sex as a weapon, but it is only because it is sometimes all they have.

    Why do they have that particular weapon? Where did they get it? Why don’t men have it?

    Men are told that women need to be won over so they will “give it up.”

    Who is telling them this? Is it true? Why do men believe it?

    Men should not be forced to buy a woman drinks for a chance at sleeping with her…

    Who is forcing them? What steps would you reccommend taking to correct this problem?
    ==

  26. Christina Says:

    @ Pat Kibbon:

    “Why indeed? Why does Home Depot pay $16.63 to get a job done when they can get the same job done for the discount rate of $14.45? Why are they willing to pay the premium rate to hire a man?”

    It’s generally not a hired-at rate, but a system of promotion and salary increases. Home Depot, for continuity’s sake, prefers to hire from within. When that happens, the candidates are interviewed and the “best” (subjective) one is offered a pay increase. Men are offered promotions more often than women and are offered more money once winning those promotions, even when education and experience are similarly situated. I can say this with confidence as I worked for HD for a number of years beginning as a cashier and ending as an operations manager. I witnessed this over and over and when I tried to bring attention to it or cause change, I was retaliated against…yet another way to marginalize and silence women.

    “So, why is there a male administrative assistant in the next cubicle when a female would be less expensive?”

    Again, see above. It’s not generally a hired-in practice, although it does happen. Sometimes only men are granted interviews. Sometimes only men have applied for the position. For whatever reason, the male is there doing the same work as the female. With commensurate education and experience, there really is no other reason that I can see for the pay to be 25% less for women.

  27. Danny Says:

    Christina:
    “I feel sad for the men on here who have expressed so much rage and insecurity. I have noticed that many men walk around with a centuries-long swagger of entitlement but with the advances women are making coming faster and more frequently, it only makes sense that those men with little to offer will begin feeling threatened and insignificant. Why not become a part of a more compassionate, empathic, dynamic society instead of lashing out at the humans with breasts who scare you?”

    I find it interesting that when women start to speak up about the ways they are treated unfairly its justified but when men speak up about the ways they are treated unfairly its because we’re insecure and angry. Thing is a lot of men who are speaking up don’t have “little to offer” in fact they are trying to speak up and say that they have more to offer than what The System has told them they are good for in the past. Thing is there are women (and men) out there who plain and simple do not like the fact that men are trying to change. And frankly you sound like one of them with your taunting about us being scared of women.

    Keatonjazz:
    “I do agree that we tend to view men as more expendable in the realm of war and the workplace. However, I would disagree that the lives of men are less valued in other ways. What about all of the violence against women? Domestic abuse? Sexual assault? Crimes that end in injury or death? When these crimes are against women, people can often times defend the perpetrator, blaming the crimes on the women themselves. Women are also oftentimes viewed as less competent than a man for no other reason than her gender. How is a woman supposed to be able to get a job if she is viewed as fundamentally inferior? How is a woman supposed to defend herself against abuse or even compete for a dangerous job if she is, on average, at a biological disadvantage (in terms of physical competency)?”

    While I can agree with this for the most part I think its worth pointing out how people (yes even those who claim to want equality for everyone) will selectively use the notion that women are inferior to their advantage. How many times have we seen people defend violent women with the nothing more than the, “But she’s a girl!” argument or “No woman would do that.” Or in DV when the tendency for men to be bigger and stronger leads to police, in jurisdictions that say that if they respond to a DV call an arrest must be made, to automatically go after the male. And in the realm of support/aid for violence/abuse the discourse is heavily gendered to the point of being unfair to male victims of abuse.

    I’m not trying to say the things you point out don’t happen to women but I don’t think you just flatly say men’s lives are not valued in those other ways.

  28. Christina Says:

    Danny:
    “I find it interesting that when women start to speak up about the ways they are treated unfairly its justified but when men speak up about the ways they are treated unfairly its because we’re insecure and angry. Thing is a lot of men who are speaking up don’t have “little to offer” in fact they are trying to speak up and say that they have more to offer than what The System has told them they are good for in the past. Thing is there are women (and men) out there who plain and simple do not like the fact that men are trying to change. And frankly you sound like one of them with your taunting about us being scared of women.”

    I was mostly talking about the men who commented on here about refusing to date, have sex, be in relationships, etc. (i.e. Stu). I think men are justified in some ways and not so much in others. A man (singular) might be a great guy, doing good, practicing equality and compassion. But men (plural) as a whole cannot in truth say that they have done the same. Unfortunately, “The System” as you put it was built by men. I’m assuming you mean media, education, government and society. It’s only been a few decades that women have had much of a say in “The System” at all. To put “The System” in place and then complain about it seems a bit like playing at victimhood. I agree that some men are trying to change for the better, but until I can see it in a tangible, lasting, pervasive way in our society, I’m not ready to give men the benefit of the doubt (which is my right). Danny, you don’t sound like one of the men I was addressing in my comment which you quoted. But frankly, your defensiveness at it makes me think you are like them but just choose not to put it in writing here.

  29. hopeless_case Says:

    Christina:

    Unfortunately, The System as you put it was built by men.

    Built on the sacrifice of men, you mean.

    The societies that have taken advantage of the disposability of men by taking huge risks with their lives have (exploration, war, heavy/risky work, …), over time, gained ground against the ones that didn’t, until they overran the ones that didn’t. All that remains among the powerful societies of the world are the ones that figured out a way to use men in risky ways.

    While the corridors of power have always been filled with men (which you are alluding to when you say “Society was built by men”), the average man has derived no more benefit from (and had no more say in) this than the average woman has. In some ways, men derive less benefit from this than women do. The powerful men have never hesitated to kill large numbers of powerless men to further their aims, and they have always kept the women safe enough to raise the next generation of children.

    A man (singular) might be a great guy, doing good, practicing equality and compassion. But men (plural) as a whole cannot in truth say that they have done the same.

    You don’t think the same thing is true of women as a group?

    Interesting. Why do you suppose men are generally less virtuous and fair minded that women? Do you think that tendency is geneticly or culturally transmitted?

    Do tell.

  30. Danny Says:

    Christina:

    Unfortunately, “The System” as you put it was built by men. I’m assuming you mean media, education, government and society. It’s only been a few decades that women have had much of a say in “The System” at all. To put “The System” in place and then complain about it seems a bit like playing at victimhood.

    And this is where you, not just you but A LOT of people…well mostly women, disconnect. The ones that built The System and those that it was built on are NOT the same men. Reminds me of a while back when I had a womanist try to tell me that she thought it was right that most of soldiers that die in war were men because men start wars. Funny thing is when asked her how many wars her husband started she never replied.

    So even though I’m not playing at victimhood like you say it is very much worth pointing out (because it seems people either have a hard time noticing it or since they gain from it not being acknowledged actively ignore it) this fact. Trying to say that we built The System and then complain about it is simply an attempt at rendering us guilty by gender association. Men are no more a monolithic entity than women. Because if we were all responsible for it then where do guys like us and male feminists come from? And I also have to point out that there were quite a few (mostly white mind you) oh so oppressed women that had/have no problem with when things were going their way. But now all of a sudden we’re just supposed to forget that and accept them as victims of the man.

    I agree that some men are trying to change for the better, but until I can see it in a tangible, lasting, pervasive way in our society, I’m not ready to give men the benefit of the doubt (which is my right).

    That’s okay. I feel the same way about feminists. They’re double speak makes me doubtful of them on a regular basis.

    Danny, you don’t sound like one of the men I was addressing in my comment which you quoted. But frankly, your defensiveness at it makes me think you are like them but just choose not to put it in writing here.

    Not my fault you can’t handle my critique of your critique. Frankly staying silent is part of what has led men to the mess we are in now. But you doubt me then by all means click my link and see for yourself.

    hopeless:

    You don’t think the same thing is true of women as a group?

    Interesting. Why do you suppose men are generally less virtuous and fair minded that women? Do you think that tendency is geneticly or culturally transmitted?

    Do tell.

    I find it odd that it can’t be said that men as a group cannot say they are great but its perfectly fine to presume that men as a group are responsible for The System. Lesson learned. Its okay to make negative generalizations (and lies) about men but positives ones are a no no.

  31. natalie Says:

    The reason men are expendable is rooted in biology. Men are able to impregnate women for a large part of their lives, whereas women are not. Women needed to be taken care of and nurtured because they have a certain period of time in which to have children. Men only do a few things well (which they can excel at), while women can do many things well (and some not as well as men). Women are more needed in society.

  32. Danny Says:

    I’m with you on the biology angle natalie but you’re losing me here:
    “Men only do a few things well (which they can excel at), while women can do many things well (and some not as well as men). Women are more needed in society.”

    Other than bear children what other “many” things are there that women can do well? Mind you bearing children is a very major one. But in the end it comes to one question. Should women and men be treated differently, whether favorably or unfairly, because of biological differences?

    Is it fair to limit a woman’s career options because she can bear children? Is it fair to expect, nigh demand, a man give his life up for a woman because he can’t? Is it fair to gauge one’s parenting ability based on whether or not they they have a XX or XY setup? It seems like most of the folks here (or at least I hope so) would think no we shouldn’t but all three of these things happen regularly.

  33. Pat Kibbon Says:

    Christina Says:
    June 8th, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    …another way to marginalize and silence women.

    What does Home Depot gain by targeting women in particular for “marginalizing and silencing?” Are you sure that their primary “marginalize and silence” target is ‘women’ rather than ‘unprofitable agitators’?

    Sometimes only men are granted interviews. Sometimes only men have applied for the position. … …the male is there doing the same work as the female.

    Which female, the one who wasn’t granted an interview or the one who didn’t apply?

    …there really is no other reason that I can see for the pay to be 25% less for women.

    The reason is as obvious as a 25% discount. The mystery is why they hire any men at all.
    ===================================

    Christina Says:
    June 9th, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    “The System” as you put it was built by men. I’m assuming you mean media, education, government and society.

    Why did women refrain from participating in the building of society?

    …But men (plural) as a whole cannot in truth say…

    What can “men (plural) as a whole” say at all? Who or what represents the voice of “men (plural) as a whole?”
    ==

  34. Danny Says:

    “What can “men (plural) as a whole” say at all? Who or what represents the voice of “men (plural) as a whole?”

    Apparently women and feminists can. Isn’t it nice that men have no business speaking on the lives of women but its okay for women to speak on the lives of men? Does this have something to do with why many feminists think that everyone who cares about equality must do so under the banner of feminism or act like it can only be done under the banner of feminism?

    (sacasm)I mean why should men start speaking up for themselves when when and feminists have it all figured right? Just look at how they have come to the conclusion that the only problems with society in terms of gender is that men are privielged and women are oppressed and fixing those two things will fix all our gender problems.(/sarcasm) (Well sadly I’ve crossed paths with feminists who seem to actually think this.)

  35. Jackeline Says:

    Aren’t a lot of wage equality issues based on the same job? I mean, if a man and a woman work the same job; the man generally gets paid a lot more and that’s the issue, not that a man is being paid more to be a coal miner than a women would as a nurse, but that a woman has a hard time becoming a coal miner and is she gets there she wont be paid the same for her efforts. I have seem plenty woman working construction, and just about every male dominated field you would typically see while out, do they really deserve to be paid less? Or should a man who wants to work in a female dominated field be discriminated against, such as a day care work? I think all gender roles should be reevaluated and I think most feminist are working towards that.

    I’ve heard of feminist treating men unfairly, but honestly I haven’t seen it. I don’t understand how standing up for our right impedes on yours. I don’t think starting to hold people accountable for unfair treatment is wrong. It’s not always men who are hurting woman’s rights, for instance look at all the women who are against teaching young girls about birth control, or women who blame the victim after a rape.

    Anyways, I dont think men are in charge, if they were gay men wouldnt have anything to worry about. I think gender roles are.

    ((I wish I could add more, or clear up some stuff but I have to run to work ^.^))

  36. Pelle Billing Says:

    “Aren’t a lot of wage equality issues based on the same job? I mean, if a man and a woman work the same job; the man generally gets paid a lot more and that’s the issue”

    No, this is incorrect. Women and men do not get paid different wages for the same job.

  37. Danny Says:

    Apparently there is a timer on how long you have to edit comments (but the time limit is not shown). If you don’t Pelle could you delete the comment I just made because there are edits I tried to get in but the timer ran out on me. Here goes again.

    Jackeline:
    “I’ve heard of feminist treating men unfairly, but honestly I haven’t seen it. I don’t understand how standing up for our right impedes on yours.”

    You are correct that it doesn’t make sense to think that men speaking for themselves somehow impedes on women speaking for themselves but by some of them seem to go by the logic that helping men somehow equates to harming women.

    When it comes to fathers trying to take an active role in children’s lives the counter argument is that they only want to do so in order to hurt the mom or take control of the kids. I’m speaking mainly in the US here but I would not be surprised if its like this in the rest of the world where millions upon millions of dollars are spent on enforcing child support collect whereas only a fraction of that is spent on enforcing child visitation. In the States you can be sent to jail/prison for not paying child support but as far as I can tell there is no punishment for withholding visitation. But even after all that at the end of the day its the fault of men that the American family is breaking down? Yeah right…

    When it comes to talking about sex feminists have no problem (when it suits them) just delcaring that men have it easy and that women have it oh so hard. No I’m not saying that women don’t have it hard because they do. What I’m saying is that there is more to male sexuality that wanting pussy all the time. And believe me its not just men reinforcing this stuff.

    When it comes to DV if you wish take a look at a post I did a few days ago on a debate on interpersonal violence against men (if you clink my name you will go to my blog and from there look up a post called “Two Points for Scotland) in Scotish Parliment. In that post is a video of the debate (it will take you to BCC). Take notice of how often the “Yes male victims deserve help but the important thing to remember here is that women have it worse.”-argument comes up. I don’t see anyone that trying to help women constantly trying to add in constant reminders that men need help too (in fact many feminists often dismiss that as “what about teh menz?”) so why, when someone finally gets around to talking about violence against men (a member of the Parliment in that vid actually expresses shame over the fact that it took 11 years for this debate to happen), does there have to be room set aside to remind us that women are more likely to be abused? One of the members noted that in Scotland from 2001-2009 spending on violence victims by gender was £100 million helping females victims, compared to £28,000 on men. I think that’s a clear picture of what victims matter.

    Feminists say they want to take a hard gendered look at things but when its all said and done most of them just seem to only want to look at gender when women are harmed and/or men are the perpetrators.

    ” I don’t think starting to hold people accountable for unfair treatment is wrong.”
    Agreed. I’d like to see all people who do things wrong be held accountable rather than the current practice of checking the gender of the wrong doer and then acting from there. Not to say that gender should never be a factor but why exactly to women who rape children get treated more leniently than men who rape children? Both are horrible crimes yet the gender of the rapist seems to change the level of outrage and the punishment.

    Sorry for the large post I’ve just been riled up this week.

  38. hopeless_case Says:

    Jackeline:

    >I’ve heard of feminist treating men unfairly, but honestly I haven’t seen it.

    Are you familiar with the writings of Andrea Dworkin or Catherine MacKinnen? Those two spring to mind as voices that are well respected among many feminists and particularly given to blaming men for everything.

    In fairness to your point, I don’t think feminists are the impetus behind the problems men face, I think the traditionalists are. In my mind, most of the disadvantages of the male gender role flow from the disposability of men, and that hasn’t changed for thousands of years. Long before feminism came on the scene.

    >I think gender roles are.

    I wish that insight had more of a hold on feminism that it does. I think a lot of feminist discourse is aimed at blaming men for the status quo (making them out to be the scape goat) and denying that any serious disadvantages to the male role exist.

    Witness the relentless use of the word “patriarchy” in such discourse.

  39. Jackeline Says:

    “No, this is incorrect. Women and men do not get paid different wages for the same job.”

    Men and woman do get paid differently for the same job, such as Lily Ledbetter, who was paid 15-40% less than her male counterparts. ((http://www.infoplease.com/spot/equalpayact1.html)) Since it’s not polite to discuss wages, this can be difficult to discern, I recently found out that a man who used to do my job got paid 45% more than I get paid now, and I’m not even at the rate I started. While most places may not have such a steep differences, it shows that there is a problem

    Sorry I cant reply to everything directed towards me. There seemed to be a lot going on and I’m too busy to address it all right now.

  40. Pelle Billing Says:

    Jackeline,

    Individual examples might be interesting, and sometimes unfortunate, but they are not in themselves a statistical truth. When you look at research or statistics you find that the bulk of the wage gap can be explained by the choices men and women make in life.

    Check out this book:
    http://www.amazon.com/Why-Men-Earn-More-Startling/dp/0814472109

  41. Pat Kibbon Says:

    Jackeline Says:
    July 9th, 2010 at 2:48 am

    …a woman has a hard time becoming a coal miner and is she gets there she wont be paid the same for her efforts.

    This is confusing. If the mining company gets a “discount” on women’s labor then why do women have a hard time getting hired? Why does a mining company prefer to pay a premium for a man’s labor?

    Jackeline Says:
    July 10th, 2010 at 1:24 am

    …a man who used to do my job got paid 45% more than I get paid now…

    And the man no longer works there? Maybe you have the job because you offered your labor at a “discount rate”?

  42. Jackeline Says:

    I somehow, just realized this is one of “those” places. Well, good luck guys, hope this all works out for you.

  43. Pelle Billing Says:

    Yeah, I’m real sorry. This is one of those places where facts are preferred to myths.

  44. O'Callugh Says:

    You seem like a really rational and measured person who wants equality for both genders without favouring one over the other. I’m bookmarking this website ^^

  45. Pelle Billing Says:

    Welcome to the site.

  46. Stewart J. Buechner Says:

    Dear Sir, What I read certainly made sence,however my ? was,do men need there own movement on liberation.Times have changed and the laws are not on the side of men!More men are in jail, the laws always take the side of women over men!This is what needs to be looked at more. Then the double standerds that men face are horrible.Both men and women should be the same in every way!We can’t even cry in public,tell me that’s not a double standerd!When men and women see men do not live on mars and women do not live on venus,that we both live on earth,then side by side work in a 100% fair way,then and only then will our country stop hurting ourselfs! This is w hat GOD would love to see from us. Thank you,Stewart J. Buechner

  47. Pelle Billing Says:

    Thank you for your comment Stewart.

  48. Mitch Allen Says:

    I am going through my first divorce after being married for almost 17 years. I stayed single until the age of 36. During my single years I was in control of my life and happy. After being married and having children I have seen my control and happiness decrease steadily over the years. I have minor children. After seeing myself slowly turn into a passive spouse in order to keep my marriage together, I finally could not take it any more. The fear of what happens to men in a divorce kept me in my marriage for years even though my wife admittedly had an affair. Naturally I suspect others but wont go into that now. I noticed the children losing respect for me as my wife walked all over me in front of them. ( like asking me what I wanted and doing the opposite.)I thouhgt of my son and how his self image was being affected. I saw how it emboldened my daughter, and thought of how society celebrates women as it degrades men & boys. Just men & boys who are not rich it seems. I noticed this in commercials & on TV shows.
    I have worked full time providing for my family for 17 years while my soon to be ex wife stayed at home early on. Almost all of my spare time has been spent with the kids & family. So much so that I neglected my friends. As the kids got older, both in school, she persued various careers as she wished, trying out Mary K cosmetics, then some college to be a nurse, then applying mhendi at parties some care giving and now house cleaning. I thought, it must be nice to dabble in part time career choices while being supported, please pick something lucrative so you can help me support this family. I was geting tired of seing her have a full social life while I worked diligently supporting the family by myself. Her money was saved for her personal vacations and trips with friends.
    I finally stood up for myself and now I am facing divorce as a man. I feel like a criminal.
    I AM being stripped of my children, my home, my business, my money and lots of time.
    I would be a very good single dad & would love nothing more than to have that. My attorney informed me that no court in the land would allow that. You are a man who worked outside the home & she is a woman who stayed at homes, she said.. (actually she was rarely at home even to make dinner which was usually a disaster anyway unless you like various canned goods mixed toghther). My crime is standing up for myself. Standing up against verbal abuse, against never being good enough, against having too small of a house, not providing a car that was good enough, being tired and watching TV, going to bed at 8:30 and leaving her with the task of puting the kids to bed even though I am up at 4:30 for work.
    I understand that its half my fault the marriage did not work. I just dont understand why I have to pay the full penalty for both of us. I would love to have her position in this divorce. I would get the kids, the house the car, & she pays me to stay here while I get rid of her. But its not that way & Wow, I am the one who wanted the divorce. I can just hear her girlfriends & her laughing about it. I bet they pissed thier pants.
    If this is what it takes to break the cycle & have my son see me act like a man & not give in to keep it together, its worth it. I just hope it does not backfire.
    She actually said this is going to be hard for her too. I almost pissed my pants on that one. Well I feel disposable. Not my income, not our bank accounts & investments, etc. Just Me.
    If you actually made it through this, please enlighten me on your thoughts. Be Kind or Not. Use them to help me, use them to ridicule, use them to scold, belittle, or uplift.

  49. Pelle Billing Says:

    Mitch,

    That’s quite an ordeal you’re going through. But good on you for reclaiming your spine and your balls. You may lose a lot in the process, but you’ll get yourself back, and over time your children will respect you for it.

    Know that you are part of a large silent movement of men who are reclaiming their integrity and having healthy boundaries with women.

  50. Mitch Allen Says:

    Thanks Pelle Billing. Those words are reassuring ( July 17th @ 12:47 pm) and just knowing someone cares & understands is comforting. I have noticed a difference in my attitude with women. I am not bitter towards them, but I do make sure the decisions made by them can not be seen as something I coerced them into making or be even partially blamed for later on. I guess that goes for anyone now. The Experience I am going through has opened my eyes as a man as to how wreckless I have been in past relationships with women. How in the hell did I make it through 17 years of marriage ? Hell how did she make it that long? I guess we are both a little messed up.. Anyway, when the emotional stuff comes up, thats when I notice my fear. But having made the careful decisions previously at every turn, not to let my sex drive run the show during normal playful communication, I have protected myself & can move confidently & in control through the emotional meltdown knowing its not my fault. This just happened today. Incredible how its taking a divorce for me to see this & make changes. But Yes, I left the situation with my balls intact, my integrity & a dose of self respect to boot. I think it may have been better than sex.
    Well I may be a little off track by what I am writing in this blog but what the heck, I noticed the previous posting was Dec 15th.
    Yeah Healthy Boundaries. They work.

  51. darklighteryphon Says:

    furry thing is beccause men are expependable in this world they get into heaven easier then women, in the only way a women can go to heaven is if she is grateful for men and kind deeds something 99% of women can’t do, in heaven one man has the strength of ten men and he never has to do work, you see YHWH(God) said heaven is for men, he never said it was for women, but when the world ends women will become infertile so no more came.

  52. darklighteryphon Says:

    just so you know I’m not sexist but I have misogyny, but want I say is true I know men get it better in heaven because

    1# all the angels are male, there are no female angels and there never will be.

    2# the houri (female jinn) have not free well, their only job is to obey their husband-master even if he says wants to have sex with her.

    3# because men are “expendable” in this world so their not in next.

    so you see, YHWH(God) made it this way to be fair.

  53. Andrew Richards Says:

    I’ve read that one or 2 people on here have been accused of being radical masculinists for taking the MGTOW route and espousing the underlying attitudes of it. To be perfectly honest, it reminds me of the “man-hating lesbian” slur from the 60s which was directed at feminists.

    Next to noone taking this line blames women or wants them wiped out like the likes of Mary Daly or Valerie Solanas were in their books.

    However they recognise patriachy for what it is and have had enough.

    Patriarchy is men being reduced to cannon fodder while women stay safe in their homes.

    Patriarchy is men dying of disease, injury and exhaustion on large scale infrastructure projects to give women and children better lives.

    Patriarchy is chivalry and gallantry men whoring themselves out to women while giving women the power of choice for who they will be with rather than it being about equal choice. It is also expecting men to on one hand be the ultimate alpha, but to capitulate completely to a woman.

    Patriarchy is the notion that all men who are victims of domestic violence at the hands of women are either urban myths, not “real men” or perpetual predators finally getting what was coming to them (ie “the woman MUST have been defending herself”).

    Patriarchy is the notion that “women and children” must be saved at all costs while men are a dime a dozen and can easily be replaced.

    Patriarchy is the notion that men should be reduced to virtual cash registers and ATMs at the cost of the bond and relationship with their children.

    It is because of Patriarchy that men are choosing the path of the MGTOW and the marriage strike, as the system has made relationships highly perilous for men. DV laws blame the man and protect the woman, rather than prosecuting the perpetrator and protecting the victim; the family court system views men as expendable and exploitable compared to the infinitely protectable woman.

    The reality is that men have had enough of not only fellow men and our fathers encouraging this (but largely because they too are trapped by this and do not know any better), but our mothers and the women of society wanting us to be “real men” and then as our psychological jailers, vilifying us as some kind of perpetual overlord for it. I realise that women are also trapped by the same system and that their prison is merely the flip side of the same coin- however such a statement is necessary to break through the notion that women are perpetually harmless, innocent and helpless. Some women are truly wonderful, while others are pretty much Satan incarnate and while the former is recognised by society, the later is virtually an anathema to it.

    I like many other men are waking up and have had enough- we reject the traditionalist alpha and beta roles as equally as we reject the feminist omega role. We are proud Zeta men- our manhood being defined by our physical gender, but that genderhood making of a tiny fraction of our personhood. All the feminists and the traditionalists out there should start to realise that we will not be silenced and we will not go away. With each injustice our numbers grow larger and our voices less silent. We refuse to be viewed by society as expendable penises on legs and demand our personhoods be treated with the same dignity that feminism demands for those of women.

    You cannot vilify us into silence, you cannot emasculate us into vanishing. We are here to stay and we will do what feminists have failed to do and had no right to even attempt to do- redefine masculinity. We are here to stay. To all the traditionalists and feminists out there; I have 4 words for you: get used to it!

  54. John Doe Says:

    I completely agree with this article, I feel I am driven by my libido, I would like very much to have a girlfriend, but I know to be able to compete and get a genuine girlfriend/wife I must do everything in my power to work hard and earn lots of money…

    I have traveled to many states for work, I have worked 13 hour graveyard shifts as a quality engineer tech at a semiconductor facility, I have worked the worst, riskiest, and most unwanted jobs, but now I’m 27 years old work in a plush office environment as a software developer contracting for $57 an hour…

    However I believe I do this all for the sake of sex and pursuing a relationship with a decent and beautiful woman, this is just the way of things, this is our gender role as men, to knuckle under, work hard and do what we gotta do to succeed and impress a woman. It’s depressing but I have come to accept this role as a man.

  55. Empathy for Men in a Post-Feminist World Says:

    [...] gender discourse of the past few decades has not been focused on male disposability, custody battles where men lose their children, or suicide and homelessness where men dominate the [...]


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