Can We Talk About Rape? - Part Two

February 28th, 2009 by Pelle Billing

This is the second part about rape, if you haven’t already read part one, then please do so first.

Cultural Forces

Male culture is often held culpable for glorifying sexual conquests, and this is said to be a precursor to rape, or at the very least a contributing factor to rape happening. That is an incorrect or at least incomplete claim for two reasons:

  1. The overwhelming majority of men pursue women without ever raping a single woman. In fact, many men would risk their own life or health by trying to save a woman if they ever witnessed a rape.
  2. Female culture tends to glorify man as predator just as much, or even more, than male culture does.

So what kind of female culture am I talking about? Harlequin novels, and similar examples of romantic and erotic literature for women, often describe sex scenes that would legally be considered rape in real life. A very common theme is that the man initiates sex, and even though the woman lets him know that she is unwilling (using her voice and body language), he proceeds to have sex with her, and then she changes her mind along the way.

For example, in Laura Taylor’s romance novel Anticipation, the hero scoops up the heroine, carries her to her bed, and then takes off all his clothes. The story continues:

Leaning over her, he efficiently jerked the front of her caftan apart, sending dozens of buttons flying every which way, then stripped it off her body.

‘What do you think you are doing?’ she demanded as she glared at him.

He watched her nipples tighten into mauve nuggets that invited his mouth. ‘Easing your tension,’ he announced in a matter of fact tone, despite the heat flooding his loins and engorging his sex. He came down over her, his hips lodging between her thighs, his upper body weight braced by his arms. ‘As sexist as that probably sounds.’

She squirmed, trying to free herself, and a sound of fury burst out of her when she failed to budge him.

In this quote (obtained from Taking Sex Differences Seriously), the man strips off their clothes, and then presses his naked body against her, while she is actively resisting what he is doing. The man does not rape her but he is clearly sexually assaulting her. Later in the passage the woman changes her mind and they proceed to have sex. However, since the episode starts off with coercion, it’s doubtful whether the consent can truly be trusted.

This is literature written by women for women to achieve pleasure and arousal in the reader! And the passage above is not an isolated example; a very common theme in romance novels for women is rough sex, and sex where the woman only gives consent half-way or even after the act has ended.

Romance fiction has the largest share of the consumer book market in the US, with an estimated $1.375 billion revenue in 2007. Please don’t tell me that female culture does not do its share to glorify and help legitimize rape.

Legal Aspects

I certainly agree with the sentiment that it would be desirable to be able to put more rapists in jail, since that is where rapists belong. However, we need to apply the same legal principles in rape trials as in other trials, i.e. you are innocent until proven guilty.

No person deserves to be convicted solely based on the victims’s account of events. Word against word is too uncertain a method used on its own; we need additional evidence or testimony if we are to deprive a person of his or her freedom.

Feminists sometimes claim that a believable account of rape by a woman should be enough for a conviction, since no woman would ever go through the hassle and trauma of reporting a rape that didn’t take place. This may sound plausible, but research informs us that false rape allegations are a very real phenomenon, so we cannot simply assume that every woman who steps forward is telling the truth.

The most thorough research reports available indicate that 25 percent or more of rape allegations are false, which is much higher than for other crimes (source and source). Regardless of what the exact numbers turn out to be, we have enough information to dismiss the claim that women don’t make false rape allegations, and therefore we can never let word against word be enough to warrant a conviction in rape trials.

Another common perspective when discussing rape trials is that the woman’s sexual history should be inadmissible, since she is not the one on trial. Many countries have Rape Shield laws to ensure that women are protected from questions concerning their sexual past. As much as I empathize with the woman’s right to privacy, and the exceedingly difficult situation she is in during a rape trial, there is also another person to consider.

The accused man must be given the right to defend himself, how could he otherwise possibly prove his innocence? The woman is publicly claiming that he is a man who includes rape in his sex life, but he is not allowed to talk about known facts about her sex life in order to defend himself? That is a ludicrous double standard that has no place in a fair legal system.

Similarly, we need to accept testimony regarding previous rape claims by the woman, and previous rape allegations towards the man. All relevant facts need to be admissible in order to have a fair trial.

Is This Rape?

Let’s have a look at a range of sexual scenarios, to see if it’s rape or not. I’ll offer my own opinion and you can offer yours in the comments.

You want to have sex, and have sex. This is obviously not rape.

You don’t want to have sex, but your partner does, and you choose to have sex to keep your partner happy. As far as I’m concerned this is not even nearly rape, since there is no coercion involved.

You want to have sex, but your judgment is clouded by alcohol. This is not rape in my opinion, though some feminists claim that it’s date rape - but only if the woman is drunk. I’ve yet to hear a feminist claim that it’s date rape if a drunk man has sex with a sober woman.

You are seduced, or talked into having sex. Some extreme branches of feminism consider this to be a form of rape, but most people would just call it courtship, and I agree with the latter sentiment.

Your partner threatens to leave you if you don’t agree to have sex. This is certainly a nasty situation, and a dysfunctional relationship, but I don’t consider it to be rape. You choose yourself whether to stay in the relationship, and if you really don’t want to have sex you are free to leave.

You are intoxicated to the point that you are unconscious, and somebody has sex with you. This is rape by definition, since an unconscious person is physically incapable of consent. However, these kinds of rape cases are extremely difficult to prove, since an unconscious person doesn’t fight back, so there won’t be any physical scars to support a rape case. Teenagers of either gender need to be taught not to put themselves in such a vulnerable position. If you pass out from being drunk, then you are not taking care of your own health and safety in a good way, and it is naive to think that nothing could happen.

You are physically overpowered, or physically threatened, and thereby forced to have sex. This is 100 percent rape, whether it’s a stranger or someone you know forces you to have sex against your will.

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7 Responses to “Can We Talk About Rape? - Part Two”

  1. Schala Says:

    “You are seduced, or talked into having sex. Some extreme branches of feminism consider this to be a form of rape, but most people would just call it courtship, and I agree with the latter sentiment.”

    In Japan, it is common for girls to chase boys. Girls to give gifts to boys, ie girls woo boys. Boys are the passive party, a total reversal of what we have in the West. Boys are far from being considered raped in the process.

    “The girl who chases a boy, calls and pursues him will be compromising herself. The wrong boy will take advantage of this. Moreover, it is not proper. It reverses God’s order and opens the door to sin and compromise. I can hear you saying, “I do not think it is a compromise for me to call a boy!” But look around you at the aggressive girls, who spit, smoke and cuss like the boys. Look at their sloppy dress and morals and think that when you call a boy, that is the direction you are going and the level to which you are sinking.”

    I found that and wow…think they’re the ones going with the thing about gay marriage leading to bestiality and people marrying their children? Slippery slope anyone? Doesn’t it sound like its condemning the “moral level of boys” as inherently much lower, that a lady should “lower herself to their level” is improper?

    Sorry if I’m a bit off-topic there.

  2. Pelle Billing Says:

    Schala,

    Interesting to hear about Japan. Would you say that the courtship process is completely reversed, or just that it’s accepted for either gender to pursue the other gender?

    Where did you find that quote? It does seem to be very opinionated and fundamentalist (as you point out).

    Pelle

  3. Schala Says:

    I did a google search for “girl courting boy japan”, cause it’s something I’ve heard and seen often depicted in manga and anime. I’ve seen very few instances of boys pursuing girls except in Ranma ½ (but then it’s ironic that this applies only to Akane, who has a fan club - while Ranma has 4 girls fighting each other over who will marry him).

    For example, Valentine’s Day gifts in high school, chocolate and such - comes from girls to boys, which is the opposite of here.

    I found the quote while checking search results.

    Here’s one of those search results:

    “They are not that crazy in Japan. Primarily it’s because the culture which Valentine’s Day still tries to penetrate does not possess the articulate meretriciousness of ours. Theirs is an oppressed society — oppressed by feudalism which continues to fuel it. Their extreme behavior on this day consists of a mild reversal of roles, namely, the girls can gift the boys with chocolates to express their feelings. And that’s confined to the young. Just the young.”

    I don’t know if it really is confined to “just the young” but I’ll admit manga/anime I watch has characters in the 5-20 years old range mainly.

    http://www.seasite.niu.edu/Tagalog/love.htm that one quote just above is from there

    “In essence, the things you have to remember with J and KGuys (in my experience) is to take initiative and let them know you’re interested.”

    This is from a guide to girls finding Japanese men. What this quote supposes is that subtle hints like flirting in the West won’t work on them.

    Ah finally found the link to my quote from the previous post:

    http://www.momof9splace.com/court2.html

  4. Schala Says:

    Personally, about the Filipino article quote who says Japan is “inferior” because it’s not a meritocracy of dating like in the West, I don’t find it a convincing argument. So girls should have tons of boys fawning over them simply because they breath? I like getting attention I’ll admit, I also like that I can expect a man to initiate, because I’m pretty shy and inexperienced.

    Yet I don’t think making it all one-sided is good. Boys should get attention too, and some girls should initiate. Wouldn’t it be nice if painfully shy men were not considered defective?

    I was invisible pre-transition (when perceived as more or less male). I had one girl initiate, but it didn’t last long. I like men mostly, but I only found that out at 24.

  5. Danny Says:

    Schala:
    Wouldn’t it be nice if painfully shy men were not considered defective?
    Yes it would be nice.

    Speaking of anime Schala don’t you find it interesting that in most anime when a girl has a crush on a boy she does not anywhere near the same as a boy with a crush on a girl?

    Girls with crushes are often portrayed with soft voices, giggles, and whispering among other girls.

    Boy with crushes are often portrayed with soft voices, spastic motions, sudden outbursts at the thought of some other guy with the girl of his dreams, and wait for….nosebleeds.

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