Misandry in the Media

April 21st, 2009 by Pelle Billing

As I wrote in my last post, misandry in the media has become increasingly common. Misandry simply means hatred of men, and corresponds to the more commonly used word misogyny (hatred of women).

In this post, I’ll explore some of the ways that this anti-male bias is showing up, as well as give some examples to illustrate.

Tracking the ongoing misandry in popular culture and the media can be a very useful exercise, since those entities are very good at tuning into what is happening in society and  in the public’s consciousness.

Priciple # 1: Men Are Stupid

Check out the TV ad below. The man is not only portrayed as stupid, but almost retarded, and very submissive as well.

 

Can you imagine the outrage and public outcry if a woman was portrayed in this way?

Principle # 2: Men Need Women to Get Anything Right

Have a look at this banned Verizon commercial, where the man is clueless and needs the guidance of his wife as if he were her child.

Principle # 3: Only Women Must Evolve

Feminism has worked tirelessly to give women more rights and more benefits, while simultaneously presenting a worldview that prevents society from doing anything about male issues (because there are no male issues in the feminist worldview…).

This means that there is no public discussion about the pressure on men to perform, in fact, you can still get away with attacking a man for not performing the way you think he should!

Check out these horrible lyrics by Destiny’s Child:

At first we started out real cool,(cool)
Taking me places i ain’t never been
But now your getting comfortable
Ain’t doing those things that you did no more
You’re slowly makin me pay for things
Your money should be handling

And now you ask to use my car (car)
Drive it all day and don’t fill up the tank
And you have the audacity
To even come and step to me
And ask to hold some money from me
Until you get your check next week
(bridge)
You triflin’,good for nothing type of brother
Silly me,why haven’t I found another
A baller, when times get hard he’s the one to help me out
insted of, a scrub like you who don’t know what a man’s about

(chorus2x)
can you pay my bills
can you pay my telephone bills
can you pay my automo’bills
then maybe we can chill

I don’t think you do
so you and me are through

What they are basically saying is that it’s a man’s role to pay for everything, and the women of Destiny’s Child can only imagine being with a man if he starts paying for everything. As long as he doesn’t, he’s a “triflin’ good for nothing type of brother”.

Women, on the other hand, are immune to any corresponding slurs about the female gender role, such as a woman’s place being in the home, since anyone saying such a thing is being misogynistic and discriminatory.

Do you have any examples of misandry in the media?

(A shoutout to James Barrow who inspired me to write this post!)

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77 Responses to “Misandry in the Media”

  1. Danny Says:

    What they are basically saying is that it’s a man’s role to pay for everything, and the women of Destiny’s Child can only imagine being with a man if he starts paying for everything. As long as he doesn’t, he’s a “triflin’ good for nothing type of brother”.
    I find that to be awfully contradictory to the lyrics in hit song “Independent Women”. That song specifically goes on about how women should be independent and not depend on a man.

    I’ve got one for you:
    Check this out. Its one of the prop 8 ads that ran last year. Notice that even though the ad is supposed to be addressing the issue of gay marriage they still managed to thrown in a penis size joke on the guy.

  2. Paddan Says:

    My first reaction to these clips was that I laughed out loud. My second reaction was “what the hell! Am I so brainwashed I can’t see straight?”. But I guess it’s not ALL about being brainwashed, it’s probably a good sign when you can laugh about other men being stupid and having a small penis. :-D

    This is an issue that is in serious need of some attention though. Just the other day on Swedish television two women (one was a feminist) debated whether there was “male bashing” going on in the media, commercials etc or not. Not surprisingly, the feminist thought that it was a non-issue and she wanted to talk about all the bad stuff women go through (and she did this by talking about statistics) while the other women just kept repeating “I think men are put down and humiliated in the media”. So the discussion basically died because the feminist kept changing the issue and diverting the question.

    The sad part is that the feminist tends to look like the “winner” of the debate…. probably because we’re so used to feeling sorry for the women.

    So I think Pelle is dead on here. There always seems to be some more “serious” or “urgent” issues than those who concern men. I’m not saying there isn’t, but this seriously overshadows mens issues, time and again.

    I’m waiting for the day when Pelle gets to debate a feminist on swedish television… ;-)

  3. Bj0rnborg Says:

    Warren Farrel said it best; when women are abused by men its a crime, when men are abused by women its humor.

    Dont know how to imbed items:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RBYgEZqrJs

    http://www.wilsonsalmanac.com/images/voodoo.jpg

  4. Bj0rnborg Says:

    I think I messed up the above comment, these where the links I was aiming to share:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RBYgEZqrJs
    http://www.wilsonsalmanac.com/images/voodoo.jpg

    if were talking malebashing lyrics there are so many, but heres a good example:

    If I were a boy – Beyonce

    If I were a boy
    even just for a day
    I’d roll out of bed in the morning
    and throw on what I wanted and go

    Drink beer with the guys
    and chase after girls
    I’d kick it with who I wanted
    and I’d never get confronted for it
    cause they stick up for me

    If I were a boy
    I think I could understand
    How it feels to love a girl
    I swear I’d be a better man
    I’d listen to her
    Cause I know how it hurts
    When you lose the one you wanted
    Cause he’s taking you for granted
    And everything you had got destroyed

    If I were a boy
    I would turn off my phone
    Tell everyone it’s broken
    so they’d think that I was sleeping alone

    I’d put myself first
    and make the rules as I go
    Cause I know that she’ll be faithful,
    waiting for me to come home, to come home.

    If I were a boy
    I think I could understand
    How it feels to love a girl
    I swear I’d be a better man
    I’d listen to her
    Cause I know how it hurts
    When you lose the one you wanted
    Cause he’s taking you for granted
    And everything you had got destroyed

    It’s a little too late for you to come back
    Say it’s just a mistake,
    think i’d forgive you like that
    If you thought I would wait for you
    you thought wrong

    man:you know when you act like that i dont think you realize how it makes me look or feel
    Beyonce: act like what yo why you so jealous aint like im sleepin with tha guy
    beyonce:what
    man:what… (laughs)
    i said why you so jealous aint like im sleeping with the girl
    But you’re just a boy
    You don’t understand
    and you don’t understand, ohhhh
    How it feels to love a girl
    Someday you wish you were a better man
    You don’t listen to her
    You don’t care how it hurts
    Until you lose the one you wanted
    Cause you’re taking her for granted
    And everything you had got destroyed

    But you’re just a boy

  5. Pelle Billing Says:

    Danny: Thanks for link. Very interesting to hear about the cognitive dissonance that Destiny’s Child represent; it’s the same cognitive dissonance that we find in feminism in general (“women are strong and independent, but also perpetual victims”).

    Paddan: Yes, it’s exceedingly hard to debate feminists, I’m glad I haven’t tried to do it prematurely. But I’m increasingly finding the “rapid-fire” answers that one would need, so when the opportunity comes along I’ll take it.

    Bj0rnborg: Those lyrics are almost worse than the ones I posted. The sad story is that many women probably believe that story to be true, since it’s the same story that we find over and over in the media.

  6. IfUSeekAmy Says:

    Using the Destiny’s Child song to illustrate this point is wrong. The context of the song is a certain type of men referred to within (primarily) the African American community as “scrubs”, as mentioned in the lyrics. These men live off their women, sometimes even mothers. The women pay for EVERYTHING in the household, and the men generally don’t work. This is, then, how to interpret parts of the lyrics:

    “You’re slowly makin me pay for things
    Your money should be handling”

    He’s making her pay for HIS, as well as her, part of the bills etc.

    And now you ask to use my car (car)
    Drive it all day and don’t fill up the tank

    He’s borrowing HER car, filled up with HER gas. And he’s not even replacing the gas he used. He doesn’t have his own car.

    “And ask to hold some money from me
    Until you get your check next week”

    He’s starting to borrow money from her all the time.

    “A baller, when times get hard he’s the one to help me out
    insted of, a scrub like you who don’t know what a man’s about”

    Someone who contributes to the household, and helps out. What’s wrong with that?

    “can you pay my bills
    can you pay my telephone bills”

    He’s living with her, he’s riding up her phone bills, etc, since he’s unemployed and at home all day. So he SHOULD be paying.

    “can you pay my automo’bills”

    See above about using the car.

    This specific cultural phenomenon doesn’t exist with middle class, white Europeans, but ask any African American you may know. If you don’t believe me, well, Beyonce (writes most of the lyrics for DC) is the same woman who penned the words:

    “Buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings
    /……./ Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills
    Always 50/50 in relationships”

    (Destiny’s Child – Independent Women)

  7. Pelle Billing Says:

    IfUSeekAmy, that’s an interesting take you have, and I appreciate the cultural perspective you bring.

    However, it’s still misandry. Simply writing those kinds of lyrics, that are ambiguous at best, is something that wouldn’t fly if women were the target.

    Furthermore, the music video has images of men with insulting signs next to the men.

  8. Jim Says:

    “However, it’s still misandry.”

    As they say, Word.

    Question for you, Amy:

    “This specific cultural phenomenon doesn’t exist with middle class, white Europeans, but ask any African American you may know. ”

    Oh, it exists among middle class, white Eruropeans, (I assume you mena Euro-Americans), it’s just that the pjhenomenon is reveresed, where it’s women who act and think this way. Would you apply the word “scrubs” to them? I like it; I think I will

    “What they are basically saying is that it’s a man’s role to pay for everything,”

    Oh, wait, there’s a better word already.

    Whore

  9. IfUSeekAmy Says:

    Actually, there IS a difference, Jim. With white Euro-Americans, women tend to stay at home, raise the kids and do all the housework, and the men work outside of the home to pay the bills, bills, bills. Do you think these women are “whores”???

    With “scrubs,” the women work outside the home, raise the kids AND do all the housework. The “scrubs” do… nothing. So no, not a reverse phenomenon.

  10. Pelle Billing Says:

    Great comment Jim, but… let’s keep the discussion clean. “Whore” can be perceived as woman-bashing and that doesn’t serve anyone.

  11. Danny Says:

    Look at it this way folks. You have a man is looking for a woman to take care of him and support and you have a woman who is looking for a man to take care of her and support. Mind you at this point there is no relationship, no kids, no shared home to take care of.

    Why is it that the man I mentioned above is a freeloading scrub but woe is the soul that speaks ill of the woman I mentioned above?

    In the African American community men are actively “encouraged” to take care of the women they are with while the reverse is a taboo that is avoided at all costs.

    Amy:
    The context of the song is a certain type of men referred to within (primarily) the African American community as “scrubs”, as mentioned in the lyrics. These men live off their women, sometimes even mothers. The women pay for EVERYTHING in the household, and the men generally don’t work.
    Now why is it those situations the women are seen as the victims because their men are living off of them while at the same time upperclass women are almost never scrutinized for the exact same behavior? (And let me say that hiring a nanny, gardener, butler/maid, and chef does not count taking care of the home.)

  12. Jim Says:

    “With white Euro-Americans, women tend to stay at home, raise the kids and do all the housework, and the men work outside of the home to pay the bills, bills, bills.”

    Since you just dove over the cliff with your childish generalizations, let me add this one: housework includes being able to cook competently, so that cuts a the majority of Euro-American women out of that equation right there. And the non-Euro-American women too for that matter.

    Pathetic.

    Using a buzzword like “Euro-Americans” was the tip-off. Race-chasing bigot.

    Which is why it is all the more ironic that you missed this obvious point:

    “Now why is it those situations the women are seen as the victims because their men are living off of them while at the same time upperclass women are almost never scrutinized for the exact same behavior? ”

    Well said, Danny.

    Dismissed.

    ““Whore” can be perceived as woman-bashing and that doesn’t serve anyone.”

    I hear it applied to men a lot, and it really has more to do with prostitute bashing than anything else. Although as it happens, I have a lot of respect for actual honest whores.

  13. unomi Says:

    “Now why is it those situations the women are seen as the victims because their men are living off of them while at the same time upperclass women are almost never scrutinized for the exact same behavior?”

    Because, as Amy rightly pointed out, the African American women you are talking about work outside the home, raise the kids AND do all the housework. Upperclass men don’t.

    @Jim

    Using a buzzword like “Euro-Americans” was the tip-off. Race-chasing bigot.

    Looks like you were the first to use it? As for the second comment, I think you might need anger management.

  14. Danny Says:

    Because, as Amy rightly pointed out, the African American women you are talking about work outside the home, raise the kids AND do all the housework. Upperclass men don’t.
    So let me get this straight:

    An African American couple in which the woman is doing all of the outside and inside work herself while her man freeloads and does none of the work is proof of a bad man that should be scrutinized.

    An upperclass couple in which the man is doing all of the outside work and hired help is doing all of the inside help if proof of a lazy upperclass woman who does none of the work.

    So even though in both examples there is a person that does none of the work of the relationship the lazy black man needs to be called out but the upperclass woman not only gets to maintain her victim status but said upperclass man needs to be called out because he doesn’t do any of the inside work? The upperclass man not doing any of the inside work is enough to let the upperclass woman off the hook for doing neither outside or inside work? Really?

    At least in the African American couple it is obvious that one person is doing all the work and the other is doing none. But in the upperclass couple if the man is not doing all of the work then the upperclass woman gets a pass on not doing any work? Does this mean that if there was hired help doing the inside work for the African American couple the complaints about him not doing anything would stop?

  15. unomi Says:

    Yes, of course it’s harder to have a (badly paid) job, do all the housework and raise the kids, than it is to have a well paid job and pay someone else to do the rest.

    Upperclass women who don’t work are generally looked down upon in popular culture. I am not sure I know what you mean by their “right to be victimised”.

  16. Danny Says:

    Meaning that they are still thought of as oppressed by the patriarchy or whatever just like any other woman when it comes to gender issues. In fact you have it right here:

    Yes, of course it’s harder to have a (badly paid) job, do all the housework and raise the kids, than it is to have a well paid job and pay someone else to do the rest.
    Bear in mind that either way you have a spouse that is doing nothing. Are you saying that since the African American woman “has it worse” than the upperclass man the upperclass woman should get a pass on not doing work while the African American man is scritinized (as he should be mind you.)

    For the most part upperclass women are looked down upon by popluar culture over class reasons. Yeah people will say she is stuck up, thinks she is too good to be around certain people, and stuff like that but how often is she criticized for not working?

    Don’t get me wrong I’m not trying to say that the African American man in this example should get a free pass. I’m asking why the upperclass woman is getting a free pass.

  17. IfUSeekAmy Says:

    I’m slightly confused by this thread. (From my perspective, it started by me simply stating that the song mentioned wasn’t a very effective example of the point being made, whether I agree or not.)

    If Danny/Pelle/Jim are saying that women who want to be supported by men or harbor a deep desire to be Stepford wives are wrong, that’s great. We all agree! (Those of us who aren’t housewives in Iowa.) But how is that a new idea?

    Guess what movement first talked about women entering the workforce, being financially independent and not relying on men to support them? The women’s movement. Feminism. In fact, it’s probably 90% of what the women’s movement was and is about in broader terms (well, there was also the tiny issue of female suffrage…)

    I’d venture as far as to say that most people I know that *don’t* define themselves as feminists agree with that idea too. So while I applaud your opinions on female independence, they’re far from controversial or revolutionary. But maybe you don’t aspire to be.

  18. Danny Says:

    I’d venture as far as to say that most people I know that *don’t* define themselves as feminists agree with that idea too.
    I never said that feminism as a whole was a bad thing and I’m pretty sure Pelle and Jim (and many of the others here) agree on that. In fact considering that we are offering civil commentary instead of lashing out wildly speaks to the notion of “You’re onto some great stuff but…” If we thought feminism was a bad thing we would not have any good things to point to to follow with “…but…” would we? The reason I don’t identify as feminist, MRA, or even humanist is because people spend too much damn time arguing over who has control of the title, who has the right to carry the title, who has the right to represent the title etc…. (and dont even get me started on the whole “is this a _______ issue” thing). Screw that.

    If Danny/Pelle/Jim are saying that women who want to be supported by men or harbor a deep desire to be Stepford wives are wrong, that’s great.
    What I’m asking is (and we have gone pretty off topic with this) “Why are Stepford husbands scritinized for not working but Stepford wives are not?” I got no problem with someone wanting to be a Stepford wife/husband but I do have a problem with criticizing one while giving the other a free pass when both are doing the same thing.

    So while I applaud your opinions on female independence, they’re far from controversial or revolutionary. But maybe you don’t aspire to be.
    Honestly I don’t. The poeple that actively try to be controversial and/or revolutionary are more than likely the ones that are going for shock value, not change. The French Revolution didn’t start with the Reign of Terror. If it gets to that point then so be it but why start at the climax?

    Oh and this:
    Guess what movement first talked about women entering the workforce, being financially independent and not relying on men to support them? The women’s movement. Feminism. In fact, it’s probably 90% of what the women’s movement was and is about in broader terms (well, there was also the tiny issue of female suffrage…)
    And guess what movement, despite making great strides in those things you mention and many more (namely breast cancer awareness), is not as perfect as some of its members seem to think it is? The women’s movement. Feminism. And besides if you want to go on about who owes what to what previously started movement then I’m pretty sure feminism owes some older movement kudos as well…

  19. Pelle Billing Says:

    Amy,

    The original post is about misandry, not whether women should work or not (or whether they should get to choose themselves!), and misandry is hardly a subject that feminism cares about. In fact, feminism is responsible for spreading the worldview that leads to misandry.

    Your point about the lyrics not being the best example available was an interesting one, but I believe that you were only partially right. Even given the cultural circumstances you describe it’s still misandry to sing the stuff they sing. It’s not at all a clean critique of a man who’s taking advantage of a woman – such a critique would have been fine by me.

    Feminism has certainly done some good things for women, and I applaud that. However, by being so one-sided, feminism has convinced people that there are no issues with the male gender role, and that men oppress women. These are the myths I want to get rid of, since we’ll never have a balanced discussion on gender issues unless the male perspective becomes valid.

  20. unomi Says:

    Danny,

    Why do you have to resort to upperclass women, i.e. why aren’t there any female “scrubs”?

    As for rich housewives not being “scrutinised”, I think there may be some cultural issues at play here. Outside the US, being a housewife really isn’t an option for most women in the developed world, barring maybe the countries around the Mediterranean.

  21. Danny Says:

    Why do you have to resort to upperclass women, i.e. why aren’t there any female “scrubs”?

    Actually there are but since the African American couple came up first (example of race) I chose to go with upperclass (example of economic status). And I am so glad you mentioned them.

    Around the same economic level as those lazy men that live off of a woman there are plenty of women (including plenty of African American women) who look for a man that can and will take care of her in every way so she won’t have to do anything (you know the ones that have requirements like how much money he makes, what kind of car he drives, how large his home is, etc…). Often those women are called golddiggers.

    Now unomi could you tell me why these days, just like with the upperclass woman I’ve been talking about, it is perfectly fine to call out that lazy man that expects to live off of the woman he is with but it is a horrible taboo to call out a lazy woman that expects to love off of the man she is with?

    I would just like to know why its fine to call out men on their faults but its politically incorrect to call out women who have the exact same faults.

    As for rich housewives not being “scrutinised”, I think there may be some cultural issues at play here. Outside the US, being a housewife really isn’t an option for most women in the developed world, barring maybe the countries around the Mediterranean.
    Perhaps but I think, in the US at least, a bigger part is how rich housewives carry and present themselves. Sure rich husbands don’t work too hard but you at least see them doing something (even if its just the occasional meeting) whereas rich wives pretty much just flaunt their status and spend money. But culturally speaking, again in the US, society seems to think that if the wife in the marriage is not working then the American Dream has been achieved while on the other hand of the husband in the marriage is not working he is deemed a failure or not a real man.

  22. unomi Says:

    Well, since we’re all about African American song lyrics on this site, allow me to quote Kanye West on the matter of gold diggers:

    18 years, 18 years
    She got one of yo’ kids, got you for 18 years
    I know somebody payin’ child support for one of his kids
    His baby momma’s car crib is bigger than his
    You will see him on TV, any given Sunday
    Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
    She was supposed to buy ya shorty Tyco with ya money
    She went to the doctor got lipo with ya money
    She walkin’ around lookin’ like Michael with ya money
    Shoulda’ got that insured, GEICO for ya moneeey(your money)
    If you ain’t no punk holla’ we want pre-nup
    WE WANT PRE-NUP!, yeah
    It’s something that you need to have
    ‘Cause when she leave yo’ ass she gon’ leave with half
    18 years, 18 years
    And on her 18th birthday, he found out it wasn’t his?

    [Chorus:]
    (she steal me money)
    Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger (When I’m in need)
    But she ain’t messin’ wit no broke niggas (she steal me money)
    Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger (When I’m in need)
    but she ain’t messin’ wit no broke niggas (I gotta leave)
    Get down girl, go ‘head get down (I gotta leave)
    Get down girl, go ‘head get down (I gotta leave)
    Get down girl, go ‘head get down (I gotta leave)

  23. Enric Carbó Says:

    There are so many examples of misandry that we could never end showing them I usually make the exercise of changing the roles and imagine what would happen. Can you imagine Marge Simpson being a fat lazy stupid instead of Homer? Bart being the good student instead of Lisa? Would the serial have the same success? I can also imagine the neo-puritans feminist complaining for those stereotyped roles.
    I talk about neo-puritanism because this is what it seems to me in many compains denouncing the use of woman’s body as an object in advertising (I don’t see the same with the man -and not only with the body, as the examples you showed above)

  24. Pelle Billing Says:

    Enric,

    Yes, the Simpsons are a good example of how naturally we accept and laugh at misandry.

    Neo-puritanism is an interesting take on it. I think that it would actually be good for women if it was more OK to make fun of women (in a non-hostile way) in the media. That would send a signal that women aren’t fragile, and it’s not the end of the world if they’re made fun of.

  25. Enric Carbó Says:

    I completely agree that laughing, both at man and woman, is a very sane way to show strength. Nevertheless it seems to me that I detect increasingly self-censorship about some issues concerning women due to the pressure of the politically correct. I am just thinking of a famous cartoonist here in Spain, that some years ago would usually portrait a fat woman and her tired bored thin bald husband in his drawings, now these characters have disappeared. I am sure there are lots of examples of this kind

  26. unomi Says:

    Can you imagine the outrage and public outcry if a woman was portrayed in this way?

    No, but I do know that virtually every major record company makes money off music that refers to women as “bitches” and “hos”. Guess the all-powerful feminists must have quietly approved of that, or it wouldn’t be so popular?

  27. Pelle Billing Says:

    Unomi:
    No, but I do know that virtually every major record company makes money off music that refers to women as “bitches” and “hos”. Guess the all-powerful feminists must have quietly approved of that, or it wouldn’t be so popular?

    When rappers sing about bitches and hos, it’s not something that is deemed “good” or socially acceptable. However, the misandry I talk about is 100 percent accepted and integrated in society.

  28. unomi Says:

    I don’t know who is the arbiter of what is “socially acceptable”, but if it’s good enough for Sony, MTV (Viacom) and iTunes, it’s probably good enough for most western capitalist societies. Feminism may have greater influence over our schools than when we were young, but so do these rappers, whose misogynist lyrics DO influence young men.

    The Oven Pride commercial obviously refers to the fact that most British men would never dream of cleaning the oven and might say that they “don’t know how to”, before going down to the pub.

  29. unomi Says:

    And again, you are reading these texts in your own cultural context (Scandinavian). Just as an example, in the UK, making fun of stupid Page Three girls (“glamour models”) is something of a national pastime.

  30. Pelle Billing Says:

    Unomi:
    And again, you are reading these texts in your own cultural context (Scandinavian). Just as an example, in the UK, making fun of stupid Page Three girls (”glamour models”) is something of a national pastime.

    The link to the UK TV ad was sent to me by a man from the UK, who considers it to be part of a larger misandry trend there.

    And please do not assume that I’m ignorant about what is going on in every culture outside my own. Feel free to debate my ideas, but stay clear of ad hominem attacks.

  31. unomi Says:

    Clearly you did misconstrue the Destiny’s Child lyrics so no, it is not an “attack” to point out that some nationalities may not be aware of the cultural context in which the UK ad was aired.

  32. Pelle Billing Says:

    I still believe that those lyrics are an example of misandry, in spite of the cultural context. Cultural context is not everything, as some postmodern theorists would have us believe.

    So no, overall I did not misconstrue the Destiny’s Child lyrics.

  33. unomi Says:

    Here is how you interpreted the lyrics to “Bills, Bills, Bills”:

    What they are basically saying is that it’s a man’s role to pay for everything, and the women of Destiny’s Child can only imagine being with a man if he starts paying for everything.

    As Amy pointed out, that is not true. So how exactly did you not misunderstand the meaning of the song?

    Also, if you want to talk about contemporary culture, this is a rather odd example. “Bills…” came out in 1999.

  34. Pelle Billing Says:

    Unomi, I’ve already explained my interpretation in this comments section, and I won’t do it again. Let it rest, you don’t have to agree with me.

  35. Bj0rnborg Says:

    I think this discussion is getting out of hand.

    Examples of misogyni in hip hop does not disprove that misandry is prevalent in media. Id go as far as to say that discussing misogyni in itself is a distraction from the topic of this thread; Misandry in the media.

    It would ofcourse be an interesting discussion as of to why misogyni is accepted as a problem but misandry is considered non-existant. As have been clearly shown here the misandric equivalents of misogynist lyrics are not aknowledged as such. Why is this?

  36. unomi Says:

    Unomi, I’ve already explained my interpretation in this comments section, and I won’t do it again.

    Saying that the lyrics you misunderstood are “still ambiguous” when you’ve been proven wrong is hardly an explanation.

    What we have learnt so far seems to be that African American songwriters had better make sure their lyrics can’t be misinterpreted by white people in northern Europe, or they will be branded as man haters.

    @Bj0rnborg

    As have been clearly shown here the misandric equivalents of misogynist lyrics are not aknowledged as such.

    It hasn’t been shown and that is why we are talking about it.

    It would ofcourse be an interesting discussion as of to why misogyni is accepted as a problem but misandry is considered non-existant.

    Nobody has said it’s non existant. The Verizon commercial was taken off the air for that very reason.

  37. Danny Says:

    Enric:
    Can you imagine Marge Simpson being a fat lazy stupid instead of Homer?
    Reminds me a specific episode of the show in which Marge and Homer were judges of a local film festival. Homer voted for a slapstick comedy film and Marge voted for an artistic film. For some odd reason the rest of the episode was centered around getting Homer to make the “right” choice (which he did in the end). Mind you Homer’s choice was called “Football in the Groin” but it was still his vote and his vote was wrong somehow. In 20 years of that show you might need both hands to count the number of episodes in which Marge was wrong and Homer was right.

    unomi:
    No, but I do know that virtually every major record company makes money off music that refers to women as “bitches” and “hos”. Guess the all-powerful feminists must have quietly approved of that, or it wouldn’t be so popular?
    And the fact that the misogyny of rap is spoken of more in one day than misandry in the media does in a month means nothing right?

    Nobody has said it’s non existant. The Verizon commercial was taken off the air for that very reason.
    While that is one example that people do acknowledge misandry for the most part it is still dismissed as whining.

  38. Pelle Billing Says:

    Danny:
    And the fact that the misogyny of rap is spoken of more in one day than misandry in the media does in a month means nothing right?

    Excellent point.

  39. unomi Says:

    And the fact that the misogyny of rap is spoken of more in one day than misandry in the media does in a month means nothing right?

    It means something, but since that type of music is much more popular now than it was 15 years ago, probably not very much.

  40. Jim Says:

    “What we have learnt so far seems to be that African American songwriters had better make sure their lyrics can’t be misinterpreted by white people in northern Europe, or they will be branded as man haters.”

    Danny, care to set him straight on who you are?

    “I don’t know who is the arbiter of what is “socially acceptable”, but if it’s good enough for Sony, MTV (Viacom) and iTunes, it’s probably good enough for most western capitalist societies. Feminism may have greater influence over our schools than when we were young, but so do these rappers, whose misogynist lyrics DO influence young men.”

    The problem with that is that none of these societies is monolithic, and the fact that communications corporations sell masses of this stuff does not automatically mean that the whole society thinks it’s unproblematic any more than the fact that the Sinaloa Cartel or the Gulf Cartel sell masses of cocaine and crystal meth means that all of US society thinks that their prducts are unproblematic.

    “And the fact that the misogyny of rap is spoken of more in one day than misandry in the media does in a month means nothing right?
    ……………..
    It means something, but since that type of music is much more popular now than it was 15 years ago, probably not very much.”

    The first criticisms of misogyny in rap started about 15 years ago, and in one case there was a lawsuit to pull a rap song that was considered racsit, “Me So Horny” which was in fact both racist and misogynist. And I don’t understand what you mean about rap being much more popular now than 15 years ago – the early 90′s is often called the golden age.

    Whereas criticism of and agitation against misandry in various media and advertizing is only beginning.

  41. Danny Says:

    unomi:
    It means something, but since that type of music is much more popular now than it was 15 years ago, probably not very much.
    Unless there is more misogynistic rap than misandric tv (and I doubt there is) it actually means quite a bit.

    Jim:
    And I don’t understand what you mean about rap being much more popular now than 15 years ago – the early 90’s is often called the golden age.
    I have to say that popularity can mathematically proven while quality (as in which era of rap is better) cannot. I agree that today’s rap is much more mainstream than it was during the 90s. Mind you that only means that more people are listening to it now than then but that does not mean that it is better now than it was then.

    Danny, care to set him straight on who you are?
    Nah Jim. Its not that serious. But if asked I don’t mind telling.

  42. unomi Says:

    @Jim

    And if Danny is black, which I presume is what you’re alluding to, what exactly would that mean? That he is the official Voice of All Black People? You and I are both gay, but that doesn’t mean that your view on, say, feminism reflects some sort of majority view among gay people.

    I don’t understand what you mean about rap being much more popular now than 15 years ago – the early 90’s is often called the golden age.

    I don’t remember the 2 Live Crew being quite as popular as 50 Cent:

    “I spit a little G man, and my game got her
    A hour later, have that ass up in the Ramada
    Them trick niggas in her ear saying they think about her
    I got the bitch by the bar trying to get a drink up out her”

  43. Pelle Billing Says:

    Unomi,

    I don’t know why you keep talking about rap?
    Not a single person here has said that they are for misogynist rap lyrics, or racist rap lyrics, or homophobic rap lyrics, or misandric rap lyrics, etc

    Misogynist rap lyrics are a well established problem in the media, whereas misandry in the media is hardly talked about at all.

    The main purpose of my blog post was to put the spotlight on a mostly unacknowledged problem, not to acknowledge every single problem that exists.

  44. unomi Says:

    Yes the step from Beyonce to rap music really is mind boggling.

    You were the one to pit misandry against misogyny by saying “Can you imagine the outrage if…”

    I’m a little confused because you’re making it sound as if the media talking about a problem (misogyny in rap) is the same as that problem being solved, when the reality is that a multi billion dollar industry has mushroomed around it over the last 15 years.

    By the same token, if we take Beyonce’s upsetting/borderline misandry lyrics from 1999, make them ten times worse and then spread them in every school across the world, you would be happy as long as there are a few angry women on Oprah being “outraged” about it?!

    Rather than looking at what the media is “talking” about, I think you should look at what the media is doing. And I think you will find that misogyny is much more common in the media and in popular culture than misandry is.

  45. Danny Says:

    Rather than looking at what the media is “talking” about, I think you should look at what the media is doing. And I think you will find that misogyny is much more common in the media and in popular culture than misandry is.

    Okay let’s not get caught up in one of those “my problems are worse than yours” pissing matches, I see enough of that on feminist sites and elsewhere.

    I’m a little confused because you’re making it sound as if the media talking about a problem (misogyny in rap) is the same as that problem being solved, when the reality is that a multi billion dollar industry has mushroomed around it over the last 15 years.
    I think he is saying that while misogyny is present in rap at least it is acknowledged unlike misandry in the media. There are plenty of popular well known rappers that acknowledge the problems of today’s rap industry and try to turn the tide by speaking about other things.

    Now let’s talk about what media is doing.

    A few months ago when everyone was talking about Brittney Spears’ comeback one of her singles was a song called Womanizer. Throughout the video she is hitting a buy. A clip of the video was played on Good Morning America I think and when it got to the part where Brittney kicked the guy in the crotch guess what happened? The audience (mostly full of women) cheered. The praise of male against female violence (Glenn Sacks and Feministing both did posts on this and oddly enough there were comments on both sites saying that the other gender would stay silent on it.)

    While rap culture is popular and misogynistic you also have mainstream daytime talk shows displaying woman against man violence and getting cheered on. On the other hand during the presidential campaign the rapper Ludacris did a song in which he insulted Oprah and Hilary Clinton. Ludacris was scorned by most of the media (including many a radio station refusing to play the song although they felt fine calling him out on it) but I saw all of 4 mentions about Brittney’s video violence (and one of those 4 was on my own blog).

    As mentioned already Homer Simpson has been an incompetent idiot for about 20 years. Al Bundy was humiliated and shunned for about 14 years. Malcom in the Middle and Still Standing (which I just discoverd via reruns) displayed incompetence on the parts of the mother and the father. Both shows lasted about 5 years each. I can’t even think of a show that had an incompetent mother/wife and a competent father/husband.

    Misogyny is accepted. Misandry is praised.

    (And while this is not scientific or anything I think these two google searches are pretty interesting:
    misandry in the media: 44,100
    misogyny in the media: 466,000)

  46. Pelle Billing Says:

    I’m a little confused because you’re making it sound as if the media talking about a problem (misogyny in rap) is the same as that problem being solved, when the reality is that a multi billion dollar industry has mushroomed around it over the last 15 years.

    Did I say that the problem is solved??
    Please don’t fabricate things I’ve never said.

    I do believe that misogyny in rap is a problem. It’s a problem that hurts young women (obviously) and young men (because they get a weird image of what women are like).

    Rather than looking at what the media is “talking” about, I think you should look at what the media is doing. And I think you will find that misogyny is much more common in the media and in popular culture than misandry is.

    So let me see here Unomi. Every detail I say you ask for verification or question the inherent logic, but when you claim something the only needed proof is “I think you will find..”?

    Sorry, that’s not a double standard I’m comfortable with.

    Danny at least offers several anecdotes and some Google statistics in his post above, which tells me a lot more than “I think you will find…”.

  47. Pelle Billing Says:

    Here’s another interesting link, with some Twitter statistics.

  48. Jim Says:

    “And if Danny is black, which I presume is what you’re alluding to, what exactly would that mean? That he is the official Voice of All Black People? ”

    Um, no…it means that I am responding to your comment “And again, you are reading these texts in your own cultural context (Scandinavian).

    “I don’t remember the 2 Live Crew being quite as popular as 50 Cent:”

    Well that’s because you weren’t here at the time. NWA was huge in its time too.

  49. unomi Says:

    If by “here” you mean the US, perhaps I should point out that the majority of people reading this blog are not American and that we are talking about the developed world at large, not America.

    Having said that, US revenue figures for 50 Cent/2 Live Crew/NWA album sales are available for everyone to see on Wikipedia. You don’t need to be in Iowa for that.

  50. Pelle Billing Says:

    Unomi:
    If by “here” you mean the US, perhaps I should point out that the majority of people reading this blog are not American

    The majority of readers are from the US, I have access to the statistics. The other top countries are Sweden, Canada and the UK.

  51. unomi Says:

    My visits usually show up as a US IP address, for reasons I’m not going to go into.

    Still, allow me to correct what I just said: The majority of people posting here are quite obviously not from the US.

  52. Jim Says:

    When I used the word “here”, the referent was not the commenters but to rap and hip hop.

    “Rather than looking at what the media is “talking” about, I think you should look at what the media is doing. ”

    That is the valid measure. Absolutely.

    “And I think you will find that misogyny is much more common in the media and in popular culture than misandry is.”

    No. The “media” is not an undifferentiated mass. Certain advertisements and commercials are quite misogynist and certain are quite misandrist, and for a very obvious reason – they are aimed at specific demographics, and form the product being pitched it is not hard to tell what the tarhet demographic is. The same goes for movies. But in countries where women make most purchasing decisions for products pitched on television – clothing, food, household items (automobiles – but I’ll get to that) the misogyny in those advertisements is going to be a lot less that the misandry. Automobile commercials are aimed mostly at men and theere is msiogyny in some of them, espcially for vehicles sold specifically to men, such as pick-up trucks. I don’t imagine there is much of that sort of advertisement in Europe.

    As for standard television programming in Britain, Feminist Critics had a post and a long comment thread on this maybe a year ago.

  53. marvLS Says:

    Could I interpret the Oven Pride commercial to mean that women really do belong in the kitchen? I mean, hey, SHE obviously knows best how to clean an oven rack.

    This misandry is part of radical feminism and has permeated the culture. I believe it stems from a deep-seated knowledge of and rebellion against the natural differences between the sexes which they perceive as putting them in a subordinate role in the culture.

  54. Pelle Billing Says:

    Very interesting analysis marvLS

  55. tired Says:

    I was at Chapters yesterday looking for books on misandry and found found 4. The sad thing was that they were categorized under “Society and Culture::Women”s Issues”. Although this could be looked at as funny it shows how this topic does not get the attention it deserves and that they probably do not even have a category for Men’s Issues.

  56. The Men’s Rights Movement « The Spotlight Says:

    [...] We are all Misogynists Now The Catalog of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics Ten Most Common Feminist Myths, busted Hateful (and stupid) Quotes from Feminists Misandry and the Media [...]

  57. Misandry in the Media - part 6 Says:

    [...] written numerous blog posts about misandry in the media (1, 2, 3, 4, 5), but I never seem to run out of [...]

  58. Mr Smith Says:

    Hello,

    Defense of and methods of socialization of the male role in society should not be excluded from female interpretation but are under male responsibility and privilege to define as much as the female roles are.
    To have either gender entirely define the other would be like asking women never to have babies and men to start giving birth tomorrow.
    Men therefore need to come to understand, define and accept that they have an ownership over their future as a person, a gender and the roles they ascribe to themself.
    Men or better said masculinity is as much a key element to unlocking the potential of human beings as is femininity.
    M.S.

  59. Edward Steven Nunes Says:

    When I search for abused men or the Abused Men’s Area, GOOGLE replies with this message. Do you mean the abused women’s area? Now that is an act of misandry.

    Most newspapers will print the name of a man who has been accused of domestic violence or rape but refuse to print the name of the woman who has accused him. Adding to this, most law enforcement agencies will release their own or the woman’s version of the alleged event rather than providing only the facts.

    There have been proposals to grant anonymity to men who have been accused until they have been found guilty or innocent of a crime. However, many women’s groups have objected to these proposals because they believe that it is better to malign a man’s reputation rather than telling the truth.

    This is why some of us believe that false accusations of sexual abuse and domestic violence should be treated as a registered offence where the accuser would be subjected to public censure and lifelong restrictions. It is time to light the candle and let the oppressed go free.

    Edward Steven Nunes
    The Abused Men’s Area

  60. witman Says:

    These “SCRUBS” that you refer to are a direct result of the female kinship system that is prevalent in the ghettos of America. These disenfranchised males have no motivation to succeed because they were not properly socialized by a man in a father role. Like animals in the wild they have an infancy but are quickly thrust into adulthood without the benefit of a childhood.

  61. Edward Steven Nunes Says:

    I thought the role of women included unstinting purpose and resolve and no less will do. That is a quality that must be appreciated in anyone.

    Edward Steven Nunes
    The Abused Men’s Area

  62. Edward Steven Nunes Says:

    I have added new information about health warning signs for men and women to my website.

    Edward Steven Nunes
    The Abused Men’s Area

  63. Edward Steven Nunes Says:

    I have updated my website to include brief information on Autism, Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, Munchausen Syndrome, Nastagmus, Schizophrenia, Tourette Syndrome, the effects of abuse, and health warning signs. All topics have references to government and private sources so that this material may help others to understand these particular afflictions and their role in social interaction.

    Edward Steven Nunes
    The Abused Men’s Area

  64. Mario Nunes Says:

    I apologize if it has already been remarked on, but I’ve made an interesting discovery in Microsoft Word’s dictionary. While I was writing a paper on issues regarding gender liberation, I needed to address some related terms. Interestingly, whenever I misspelled feminism or misogyny, the red misspelling underline would appear indicating my error. The program provided me with the proper spelling for each. The program appeared to have no spelling or reference to the words misandry or masculism.

    …Sadly, I discovered, while writing this reply, my android phone has the same bias…

  65. Shattered Men Says:

    @ Danny:

    It is not just his size that is offensive. I noticed that only a female checked the woman out while the male was exposed to everyone, including the woman sitting at the desk and several other women. This is common however as often when searchs are done, woman can strip search males but men can never strip search women.

    You said “Women the world over have been and are being mistreated just being born female”

    Men have had to pay the price for being male throughout history as men had to do the risky jobs that would result in death far more often than women. I ask you, are women being mistreated when in a hostage situation where a lot of women and men are hostages, the police request and often get the women released first and when all the women are released and only males remain hostages, armed intervention is far more likely since the only ones who will die will be males.

    Of course, when it is only males who are doing the dying, we do not hear anyone complain but when women are made uncomfortable, men are expected to go rescuse them even if it means the death of hundreds of males.

    Now tell me just how women have been mistreated and men have not been?

  66. Shattered Men Says:

    “when it got to the part where Brittney kicked the guy in the crotch guess what happened? The audience (mostly full of women) cheered.”

    Fox has a program called Raising Hope,

    Recently they had an episode called a “Swift Kick in the ….”

    http://www.fox.com/raisinghope/

    RAISING HOPE
    is a new single-camera family comedy from Emmy Award winner Greg Garcia that follows the Chance family as they find themselves adding an unexpected new member into their household.

    At 23 years old, JIMMY CHANCE (Lucas Neff) is going nowhere in life. He skims pools for a living, parties every night and still lives at home with his family, including his MAW MAW (Cloris Leachman); his mother, VIRGINIA (Martha Plimpton) and his father, BURT (Garret Dillahunt).

    Jimmy’s life takes a drastic turn when a chance romantic encounter with LUCY (guest star Bijou Phillips) goes awry once he discovers she is a wanted felon. Months later, when Jimmy pays a visit to the local prison, he learns Lucy is pregnant with their baby, and after she gives birth, he is charged with raising their daughter.

    I do not want to rain on your parade for comedy but as the founder of an domestic violence ministry for abused MEN, I do not find aggravated sexual assault the lest bit funny. Far too often women are able to kick men in the testicles without any fear of anything being done about it. I do ask. what do you think would happen if this or any show had a man assault a woman and nothing is done about it? In reality, very little is ever done to women who hit, grab or kick testicles but I do know a man who spent a year in jail for accidently touching a teen age girl’s breast. Too often when we get people to laugh at something, no one takes it seriously and it starts happening far more often. We have seen a man getting his testicles hit in many more commercials lately and in many more movies, TV shows and other things…and it is happening in real life far more often because of it! Even now, in many schools, we have boys getting hit and some have
    lost a testicle due to it

    I contend that any time anyone hits or causes pain such as this, it should be called and dealt with as aggravated sexual assault unless it is proven self defense. [>o]

    Since Mike was “married” to this woman, it would be domestic violence. In reality, just as many and some unbiased research shows that there are more men who are the victims of domestic violence as are women but men have less than a half dozen shelters to help them and even fewer who can include their children to go but women have over 2,000 and the full backing of the federal government by the Violence Against Women Act which does nothing to help half the victims of domestic violence who happen to be men. Is it worth a moment of laughter when hundreds of thousands are being battered…or killed?
    The show on Tues 3/9/11 showed a woman with 4 husbands which they said was reversed gender polygamy. One of the men was the nephew of Burt and they came there because the woman was leaving him and “divorcing him” As they were leaving, she told him “You know the divorce ritual” He then nodded yes and closed his eyes spead his legs and they than show here kicking him and they have clips of it on the website with this part actually labled a shift kick in the…. (they spell it out)
    http://www.fox.com/raisinghope/full-episodes/816339464001/the-cultish-personality

    A Swift Kick In The

    I do NOT find this in the least bit funny and I have told them that on the Rasing Hope forum.
    http://raisinghope.community.fox.com/go/forum/view/113121/195145/General_Raising_Hope_Discussion
    PLEASE fill in the easy to join form to give support to the threat I started called ”
    Sexual Assult is NOT Funny
    Started By: Ken

    I do not want to rain on your parade for comedy but as the founder of an domestic violence ministry for abused MEN, I do not find aggravated sexual assault the lest bit funny. Far too often women are able to kick men in the testicles without any fear of anything being done about it. I do ask. what do you think would happen if this or any show had a man assault a woman and nothing is done about it? In reality, very little is ever done to women who hit, grab or kick testicles but I do know a man who spent a year in jail for accidently touching a teen age girl’s breast. Too often when we get people to laugh at something, no one takes it seriously and it starts happening far more often. We have seen a man getting his testicles hit in many more commercials lately and in many more movies, TV shows and other things…and it is happening in real life far more often because of it! Even now, in many schools, we have boys getting hit and some have
    lost a testicle due to it

    I contend that any time anyone hits or causes pain such as this, it should be called and dealt with as aggravated sexual assault unless it is proven self defense. [>o]

    There were several very supportive replies to this but Fox deleted the entire thread.

  67. Shattered Men Says:

    @IfUSeekAmy
    “community as “scrubs”, as mentioned in the lyrics. These men live off their women, sometimes even mothers. The women pay for EVERYTHING in the household, and the men generally don’t work. ”

    It couldn’t be that these men have been so severly oppressed by the women that they can NOT find jobs and they have never been giving the chance to suceed could it? We know that schools are not friendly to boys and Black boys have it far worse then White boys. Many if not most of the Black families do not have a father in the house and fatherless homes are very damaging to both boys and girls. If these men do not work, how much does this have to do with the MISANDRY in our society vs. their not wanting to work?

    Our boys are being brought up from birth hearing female good, male bad. All they hear from birth up is how bad men are and how good women are almost as if being a male is a deadly incureable disease.

    Well, incureable but some try to cure it by sex changes. After all, why are there hundreds of male to female vs. female to male sex changes? Maybe these men are trying to better themselves by becoming women because of the misandry they keep hearing.

    Odd, when we hear feminist tellins us about all the male power and how great men have it, none of them want to become a man via sex change. I guess they really do know that women are in the cat bird seat and they have it made over the men.

  68. St. Estephe Says:

    Please take a look @

    The Unknown History of MISANDRY

    Alimony Racket Quotations: http://unknownmisandry.blogspot.com/2011/09/alimony-racket-quotations.html

    Chivalry Justice Quotations: http://unknownmisandry.blogspot.com/search/label/Chivalry%20Justice

    Early Men’s Rights Activists: http://unknownmisandry.blogspot.com/2011/08/early-mens-rights-activists.html

    Early Female Anti-Misandry Activists: http://unknownmisandry.blogspot.com/2011/08/female-anti-misandry-legislators-judges.html

  69. Pelle Billing Says:

    Interesting stuff, St. Estephe. Thanks for the links.

  70. Edward Steven Nunes Says:

    With a few additions and modifications rape kits can be used to collect evidence of spousal abuse that can be processed and then analyzed in a crime lab. This removes the problem of whom to believe (usually the female) and changes the direction of the investigation to the facts that are a result of DNA testing. For an example, the kit would detect evidence of rape or adultery and the DNA of who did it. Testing for touch DNA may exonerate a person accused of spousal or child abuse. Claims of spousal or child abuse should not be based on what the accuser says but on the biological evidence that may include touch DNA transfers. I have described this on my website.

    Edward Steven Nunes

  71. Pelle Billing Says:

    Interesting stuff, Edward. Your link doesn’t work though, could you post a new one?

  72. Dutch Excuseer mij, Wat "Patriarchie"? Says:

    [...] on the Status of Women – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia [23] Single Mothers, Many Problems [24] Misandry in the Media [25] http://www.fathersandhusbands.org/ [26] Media 4 Women :: Your Partner in Entrepreneurial [...]

  73. Why I am a Men’s Rights Activist | Jay. Em. Kay. Says:

    [...] [8] http://www.pellebilling.com/2009/04/misandry-in-the-media/ [...]

  74. Global Excusez-moi, mais quel Says:

    [...] [...]

  75. Online Identity (written by a woman) « georgiaswinton Says:

    [...] of stale conglomerates is proliferating pro-feminism but has led to anti-male. Can anyone say misandry? Feminisim is the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and [...]

  76. Groupthinkblogs + Feminism « Jordan Trudgett Says:

    [...] either indoctrinated by crazy feminists into thinking that this categorically cannot exist, or you need to open your eyes) and find them about equal in number and severity? You can’t just [...]

  77. SunnyDragon Says:

    So Danny, I have a question. Do you think cheating, on anyone, is a good thing to do? Because when you referenced “If I was a boy” by Beyonce, she was simply talking about her boyfriend who “chased after girls” with his friends who covered for him after. She simply wanted him to spend a bit more time with her. I wasn’t aware that wanting to spend time with ones boyfriend and not wanting him to cheat on you was a misandric act. Now tell me the correct course of action to fix mu wrongdoings. Should I set him up with other women myself or let him potentially chose a woman with STD’s? Whay would be not misandry here?


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