It is more then hormons re: how long someone will live or lets say the life expentancy of men vs women. Health care for one. Feminist groups have long played a word game in their propagda. For example, they will point out truthfuly that lets say “ONLY 20% of all health researh goes for women’s disease but they guide people to think the other 80% goes for men when in fact 5% may go for diseases that effect only men while theother 75% goes for gender neutral disease.

“Women have been included in NIH-supported research for decades,” according to a January 10, 2001 letter from William Harlan, MD, NIH associate director for disease prevention. “Women have been included with overall equivalency in most observational epidemiological studies when the conditions commonly affect both genders.” Harlan also pointed out that in the areas of cancer, diabetes, and reproduction, women had received more research attention than men.

The NIH retraction follows the publication of a report in the journal of Controlled Clinical Trials (October 2000) that analyzed 342 clinical trials published in 5 leading medical journals in 1985 and 1990. The trials enrolled 343,675 females, compared to 126,234 males. Johns Hopkins researcher Curtis Meinert, PhD also reported in the article that women had participated in 71% of all heart disease clinical trials from 1966-1985.

http://www.shatterdmen.com/NIH%20Retracts%20Claim.htm

American men live an average of 73.8 years, and women live 79.5
years, a 5.7 year life span gender gap (Table 28).
• Men have a higher age-adjusted death rate for every one of the top
10 leading causes of death (Table 30).
• Males under 65 years of age are more likely to have no health
insurance, compared to females: 18.5% vs. 16.2% in 1997 (Table 128).
• 23.2% of males have no usual source of health care, compared to 11.9%
of females (Table 78).
Ironically, despite these documented disparities, men composed only
32% of enrollees in all NIH extramural research studies in 1998, down
from 45% male participation in 1994 (1). Although it has been alleged
that the current imbalance in NIH enrollments is justified by the prior
underrepresentation of women, empirical analyses do not support this
claim

http://www.shatterdmen.com/mens%20health%20%20womens%20issue.htm

Another point, how often have you heard about prostate cancer vs breast cancer? More men WILL get prostate cancer than women will get breast cancer yet I heard more about rasing funds for breast cancer durning prostate cancer awareness week then anything about prostate cancer. Just like domestic violence shelters. we have tons of mnoeny being spent for women vs peanuts for men.

As to men not going to the doctors for checkups vs women who do, remember that most families have so much money to spend and very often men will make sure their children and wife will go before they do and often he does not go to the doctors because of lack of funds.

You seem to already know what is authentic for you, and how you enjoy meeting women. If you are happy with that then I see no reason to adapt simply because a teacher tells you to.

You are correct that men are different. Some of us are more sensitive and emotional (I can be sensitive myself), and this is just fine. Making some generalizations about the sexes is fine, but let’s not cross the line into stereotypical labeling.

Thank you for you honest comment, and I know there are women out there who are looking for the kind of man you seem to be.

There was one part I didn’t agree with however and I feel it is the same issue that is causing all of these paradoxes to begin with that is being brought up here: that the ball should always be in the man’s court to approach and make a first move.
First off the other issues being brought up here will never come to be resolved until this unfair expectation of men starts to go away and the reasons are so obvious. It is very easy to connect the dots from who should make the initial approach/sacrafice and the mindset behind this to all of the other unfair behavior expectations being brought up on here.

I do agree with being yourself as a guy since the initial facade (even if successful at first) will likely collapse at some course during the relationship. Also, what type of guy could ever be truely happy by being someone he isn’t just to win someone over? However there is no reason why a woman can’t ask a guy out, make a first move or at least make it easier for a guy to ask them out (and I’m not talking about silent signals).

I think that what alot of these authors who write dating advice articles continue to miss is that while there are some differences in behaviors and thinking between the two genders there is one area that is rarely (it seems) that is brought up: personality traits, our egos and what we would call the real ‘us’. Some guys are more aggressive then others, some are shyer than others, some are more introverted, some more extroverted, etc. Some guys need to get their ‘masculine energy’ by feeling that they earned and won their girl over. However, many guys such as myself are already comfortable enough with our own masculinity where we don’t need to get it from ‘approaching and winning women over’. Some of us already get this satisfaction from our military service, our dangerous and challenging jobs along with our hobbies/recreational activities. I guess to each their own but not all guys, just like all girls do not think the same and enjoy doing the same things. I’ve approached girls both cold and those who I already knew (but nothing was there). I’ve also been approached myself by women through a variety of different means. The ones that worked out the best for me were the ones where the girl already liked me since I never put up a facade to begin with, they let me know that they liked me, backed off and allowed me to respond by making the next move.

I am more of a deep, emotional and spiritual type of guy with a very creative mind (I’m not an artist though) so obviously what appeals to guys like myself is going to be different than what appeals to other types of guys. Personally some guys such as myself want a girl who really likes us because of something they see in us, along with a deep emotional connection, not because I performed the basic biological mechanics correctly. Regardless of who makes a move or what type of move you are still a guy, and the girl is still a girl. Any mentally healthy person of either gender would never allow such a gender behavior expectation concept such as ‘who made the first move’ to interfere in a relationship where two people share a strong spiritual and emotional bond together. The ‘first move’ is a small fraction of 1% of an overall relationship with another.

Hormones are part of the explanation. But not all.

See this:
http://feck-blog.blogspot.com/2009/11/cloisterstudy-or-is-there-biological.html

You have identified the issues. I wrote about a proposed solution here:
http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/unlocking-the-mens-movement/

For the record I accept that men and women have their obvious differences but is there equal appreciation for each genders hardships? The answer is an obvious no. We have been brainwashed as a society to believe that without women men would not be what they are (you ever heard of the old “there’s a strong woman behind every great man” phrase) and on top of that our society reinforces the idea that women are to be appreciated but not men, or at least on equal grounds.

Women do tend to be more vocal about their concerns than men and many women blame men for their own masculine egos when it comes to mens’ issues not getting enough attention. An interesting point here is that when men do become vocal about their concerns then they get criticized anyways by many women (and even other men) about being a bunch of whiners who have no clue how to be a ‘real man’. It’s an endless loop of catch 22’s.

Men do alot for women as well but it is considered politically incorrect to mention this. This mindset extends over to the dating/relationship game as well where because women are considered the prize that will end up doing much more for a man if the relationship starts than vice versa, it is always expected that men take all of the risks in this department as well. Yes indeeed this having your cake and eating it fair weather version of feminism has extended over into every aspect of gender unfairness that continues to wreck havoc on all of us, man or women but especially for men but like I’ve said I blame many men just as much for this. There are so many other issues I havn’t brought up here but I’ll rest my case with this little post.

All but a few of those going into the WTC buildings on 911 were men but when a momument was suggested with a police and fireman, the feminsit wanted equal representation although again well over 99% of those who gave their live were men.

I think the feminist want all the rights while men have all the responsibity of assuring that women have rights and privileges men do not have.

Even intellectual people who you would think would be the first to entertain foundational questions will have no patience for a carefully laid out argument like yours.

That’s because those “intellectual people” have already decided that discussing the basics is beneath them due to the fact that they, in their minds, decided that they have already carefully examined all possibilities and have decided that they already know all there is and further discussion is a waste of time.

I’d another question to Pat’s and hopeless’s list.
1. If men are so privileged over women then why was the scoring system of the World Economic Forum’s annual Gender Gap Report specifically structured so that the only negatives that were counted were ones that mainly effected women while the metrics that showed to mainly negatively affect men were actively ignored. Surely if men are so privileged over women then the writers of that report could have easily shown it without resorting to such a sexist scoring system right?