Swedish Mother Tells a Frightening Tale

October 4th, 2011 by Pelle Billing

Over at my Swedish blog, one of my blog readers retold some pretty disturbing experiences she’s had as the mother of two. I decided to summarize her story for my English speaking readers (after blog reader Jim came all the way to my Swedish blog and asked for a translation!):

A blog reader (Ella) is the mother of a son and a daughter. The children are roughly in junior high/high school.

Sometimes the children have a special day in school to learn about gender equality. During those days the girls learn self-defense, and the boys have to attend groups where they “identify problems with the male gender role”.

When Ella’s son comes home after a day of gender equality, he and his friends look and feel pretty defeated. They’ve had to learn about the bad things men do to women, and what men did to women in the past.

Sometimes gender equality is the topic of regular classes too. In one such class they discussed prostitution, and Ella’s son came home and said that it’s really quite terrible that all these women are forced to Sweden to become prostitutes.

Ella replied that yes, human trafficking is indeed horrible. But far from all prostitutes have been trafficked. Initially her son didn’t believe her and thought she was misinformed.

In a class discussion on rape, Ella’s daughter made the mistake of saying that it is a shame that false accusations exist, since they detract attention from the actual rapes that happen. After class her male teacher pulled her aside and asked where she had gotten those fantasies from.

This is what happens when feminism takes over a whole country.

34 Responses to “Swedish Mother Tells a Frightening Tale”

  1. Jim Says:

    Thanks, Pelle.

    Does Sweden have hate speech laws? Can’t imagine you don’t. Can’t imagine why this kind of indoctrination isn’t covered under those laws……

  2. Pelle Billing Says:

    We do have hate speech laws. But as far as I know they only cover religious, ethnic and sexual minorities.

    You can say anything you like about white men, even in mainstream media.

  3. Kostas Says:

    This is very sad to hear. Even though i have to admit i dont know much about the Swedish society i ve always thought of it as very advanced, enlightened if you prefer, and as an example to follow. After seeing such disgraceful instances of political ideology being shoveled to kids like that i am greatly disappointed and to be honest, afraid about the future. How far can this go? Where will it end?

    If i may ask where do you fall in the political spectrum? The reason why i am asking is that i ve always thought of myself as being firmly in the left end of the spectrum but i am beginning to realize that if calling yourself left means you have to embrace ideologies like that i simply cannot keep doing it anymore.

  4. Pelle Billing Says:

    Kostas,

    Yeah, I know several Swedish men who used to be firmly to the left politically, but are now appalled at Swedish feminism. Unfortunately feminism and the political left feed off of each other, since the equality-word can be thrown around no matter what you are talking about.

    After the fall of communism nobody believes in everybody earning the same or having the same lifestyle. But feminism has adopted the idea and twisted it to men and women having to earn the same, living the same way, etc.

    In addition to all this men are attacked all the time, and held responsible for anything bad.

  5. Danny Says:

    More stories like this need to be told. Time and time again boys like this are brushed to the side and written off as a one time anomaly.

    Although my college days had passed by the time they caught traction apparently some colleges in the US are having orientation sessions that male freshmen are required to attend in which they are pretty much raked over the coals about sexual assault on women. Yes sexual assault against women on campuses is terrible but it seems like instead of actually weeding out the actual assailants they just want to blanketly presume that all guys are rapists in waiting.

    I really hope that damage done to that boy (and girl) is not permanent.

  6. Enric Carbó Says:

    I am a secondary school teacher. Every year a team come to talk about “danger relationships” to the pupils to teach them about domestic violence. To me is as useless as “just say no” anti-drugs campaign, just a way to waist money (well, the lobby that designs this educative program makes its living on it). It seems this is happening in all Europe.
    You can read my experience at http://masculinitat.blogspot.com/2011/09/classe-amb-el-programa-talla-amb-els.html with working class failing students that were taught that they belonged to “privileged gender”. Anyway, my pupils were so relativistic that they exceeded the relativism and social constructivism of the monitors teaching them, so they received the lesson with absolute indiference.
    It’s written in Catalan. I am afraid the Google translator on the top right doesn’t work very well! I explain what happened in the last three paragraphs

  7. Michael Steane Says:

    Sweden does indeed have hate speech laws. But they specifically and definitively do not protect white Swedish males and this has been accepted in case law there. It is truly a misndric country.

  8. Pelle Billing Says:

    Enric,

    Yes, isn’t it fascinating that feminists don’t mind teaching poor boys who are failing their classes that they are privileged?

  9. Enric Carbó Says:

    Well, is more subtle than telling them directly that they are de privileged gender. They talk a sort of collective guilt. Also they use social constructivism to say that you can change your anger aor whatever. So, if you have anger, that is your exclusive fault. It seems that the only way to escape from this blame is to join radical feminism ideology. That’s why there are so many fanatics and Inquisitors in that ideology. Many of them are men -the pro-feminists ones.
    In XVI century, Inquisition prosecuted jews and moors (muslims) who converted to catholicism to avoid the expulsion from Catholic Kings because they suspected they were not good christians enough. The more cruel inquisitors were themselves former jews and moors

  10. T. Rose Says:

    I’m going to have to disagree with the consensus here that this is a bad thing. I mean we can’t hide that men have done terrible things to women,and the MRA movement is ideally about the problems of the male gender role. And considering the usual cases, teaching girls self-defense is definitely a good thing.

    But there needs to be a counterpoint,since after all despicable people do despicable things,regardless of gender and simply putting the fault on men is “ignorant”. We need to teach women about the bad things they have done to men,and how men should non-violently (if possible) deal with abusive relationships.

    However without instances like these,we would not be able to think about the useful counters.

    Still hypocritical of those feminists though.

  11. Pelle Billing Says:

    T. Rose,

    I don’t think you would think this is a good thing if you actually knew the details. It’s not that the boys simply reflect on their gender role, it’s that they are asked to carry a collective guilt form the past.

    it also makes no sense that the girls don’t have to reflect on their role, and that the boys don’t learn self-defense.

    It’s sexist and it’s bigoted.

  12. Eagle33 Says:

    T.Rose, while you do mean well and have quantified things, I still feel there are parts of your argument that need to be addressed because, frankly, they’re the same arguments people propose whenever we talk about the harm done to boys by girls and women like Pelle is doing.

    T. Rose: “I’m going to have to disagree with the consensus here that this is a bad thing. I mean we can’t hide that men have done terrible things to women,”

    How is addressing the harm being done to these boys hiding what men have done to women? Why not identify the areas you feel of this that would produce such a result? Seriously, this is a tiresome argument.

    T. Rose: “and the MRA movement is ideally about the problems of the male gender role”

    The MRA movement is the same as the feminist movement. Whereas the feminist movement addressed areas of injustice and harm that was done specifically to women in society, Men’s Rights seeks the same thing only with boys and men like:

    -Biased divorce system
    -Child Support
    -Male Victims of Abuse (particular from female perpetrators)
    -Boys falling behind and failing in school
    -The devaluing of fatherhood
    -False Rape Accusations
    -One sided Domestic Violence models (women as victims, men as perpetrators
    -Male Disposability
    -Unflattering steroetypes of men portrayed in media (songs, tv, movies, etc)

    So in a way it is about the male gender role, but not what you think.

    T. Rose: “And considering the usual cases, teaching girls self-defense is definitely a good thing.”

    Yes, it is a good thing. So why are boys not given the same treatment since they can be victims of violence by other boys and girls over there? How come the girls get empowerment and confidence while the boys have to be lectured and talked down to on how they benefit from the oppression of women?

    It’s a big double-standard if you ask me.

    T. Rose: “But there needs to be a counterpoint,since after all despicable people do despicable things,regardless of gender and simply putting the fault on men is “ignorant”.”

    Kind of like what you did earlier when you link what Pelle is addressing to “hiding what men have done to women”. In other words, correct me if I’m wrong, you still feel that boys and men need to be reminded again and again about how mistreated women were in the past even though they will never have a place as the elite in that ivory tower where those men you have a problem with reside. Even boys who are taught to think of themselves as shit just through association or when they’ve suffered serious abuse from others. When is enough going to be enough?

    T. Rose: “We need to teach women about the bad things they have done to men,and how men should non-violently (if possible) deal with abusive relationships.”

    Well, there you go. We agree there.

    I’ll tell you, these men sure could use those self-defense classes those girls are given on a silver platter.

    No offence, T. Rose, you mean well. Just the same old arguments I’ve heard time and time again.

  13. Allan Says:

    “…it is a shame that false accusations exist, since they detract attention from the actual rapes that happen. After class her male teacher pulled her aside and asked where she had gotten those fantasies from.”

    I think it’s important to recognize how this works emotionally as well as intellectually (social theory, feminism, masculism, etc). And shame is a big tool of social control. (i.e. “shame based societies”). It is being used as a weapon here by women against men. When she says “he and his friends look and feel pretty defeated.” isn’t she saying they are feeling ashamed of themselves? Shame is so uncomfortable we even avoid recognizing it. People with lots of shame often deny whole parts of themselves (the moors and jews) and aggrandize other parts (the cruel inquisitors) to keep that part unconscious and suppressed. The male teacher is enforcing his denial on the girl. His shame is probably unconscious.

    Shame has complex dynamics socially and inter-personally involving shame, fear of shame, shame of shame, anger… much of it unconscious. It motivates people in the changing roles of the victim triangle, the Persecutor, Rescuer and Victim http://www.lynneforrest.com/html/the_faces_of_victim.html ). Women here are teaching the girls perpetrator roles and boys victim roles with the underlying shame-based motives. True empowerment, without shame, does not create perpetrators.

    Shame is a big motivation for violence (toward self and others), and ironically, shaming people tends to increase violence, not decrease it. (Psychiatrist James Gilligan has written about this extensively). I would guess these extreme measures are not creating a utopia where rape is almost unheard of.

  14. Pelle Billing Says:

    Excellent points Allan! I agree. Shame is central to what is going on here.

    My own process of working with gender issues and becoming a semi-public person in Sweden has been accompanied by an inner process of facing and letting go of chunks of shame that are tied to feminism, to my very own gender, etc. I feel much more effective today compared to when I started out, because of this. It’s not like this process is completed (is it ever?), but simply having walked a few steps down that path has been quite liberating.

  15. Justin Thomson, otherwise known as "AlenaRyu" Says:

    I’m a bit afraid to post here with all the high-thinking individuals. :/ But…

    I do find it a bit questionable that men are lectured while the women learn self-defense. Are the boys presumed to have known how to defend themselves from the beginning? If I was personally in that position, I’d be annoyed that I’d have missed out on learning how to fend off potential assailants, to be guilt-tripped about things I hadn’t done yet.

    “Men can’t be sexually harassed. It just doesn’t work that way.” – Louis Griffin.
    Yes, this is a quote from Family Guy, but the undertones it represents really struck me when I heard it.

  16. Pelle Billing Says:

    AlenaRyu,

    Please don’t be afraid to post. Your reflections are a welcome addition.

  17. Jim Says:

    “…it is a shame that false accusations exist, since they detract attention from the actual rapes that happen. ”

    You see this one a lot, as if the most important harm from FRAs is potential harm ot potential rape victims rather than the actual harm that inflicted on falsely accused people (usually but not always men). It privileges female over male suffering. It’s man-hating.

  18. Pelle Billing Says:

    Jim,

    Agreed.

    In this case however I think the young woman did what she could to add a different perspective in a hostile environment.

  19. Jim Says:

    “In this case however I think the young woman did what she could to add a different perspective in a hostile environment.”

    And good for her for trying. clearly she knew that that was the only objection that had any chance of getting a hearing at all. Quite telling that she restricted herself to that particualr objection.

  20. Danny Says:

    Justin Thompson:
    “Men can’t be sexually harassed. It just doesn’t work that way.” – Louis Griffin.
    Yes, this is a quote from Family Guy, but the undertones it represents really struck me when I heard it.

    And bear in mind that those undertones are strong enough to make it onto a big hit show like Family Guy. If that thought wasn’t as prevalent as it would not have been brought up. Reminds me of a Cleveland Show episode where Cleveland told his wife, “Of course you can’t be president because you’re a woman.” If that attitude wasn’t prevalent it would not have been mentioned on the show.

    Jim:
    You see this one a lot, as if the most important harm from FRAs is potential harm ot potential rape victims rather than the actual harm that inflicted on falsely accused people (usually but not always men). It privileges female over male suffering. It’s man-hating.
    Yes this does reek of the usual stench of trying to make everything about women. Funny how people are all about the potential harm to rape victims in this example but when talking about say Schrodinger’s Rapist it becomes about the actual victims….

  21. AlekNovy Says:

    Pelle, I have a question I’ve wanted to ask for a long time.

    Do you have a theory on why sweden is so far radically feminist? I mean there are so many countries in the world – what specifically made sweden swing so far in that direction. Is it anything specific about sweden?

  22. Pelle Billing Says:

    AlekNovy,

    I think it has to do with our socialist/marxist heritage. We’ve always been democratic but for decades our politics were completely dominated by socialism.

    Feminism is in many ways a replacemen for marxism. Just replace workers with women and rich people with men. Class war becomes gender war.

    So when socialism was thrown out after the fall of the Berlin Wall, we turned to feminism instead. Same people, new (but very similar) ideology.

  23. Jim Says:

    And then deeper than that I think there is a real drive in Sweden to be as progressive as possible. Things used to be really, really bad in the bad old days, and socialism and social progress in general were the way out of that. So eventually Sweden and the Scandinavian model were held up as the epitome of progressiveness, and in a way that became a kind of Swedish exceptionalism.

  24. Eagle33 Says:

    I think the problem with the Swedish model of gender equality, in my opinion, is that it went with the gynocentric view that all women troubles are the cause of men as a collective.

    Now, had it gone with the more egilatarian view of “Sexism hurts everyone and even women aren’t immune to aiding and abbetting it”, you’d probably see real progress.

    It’s not progressism that’s the problem. It’s the kind of progressism employed. In this case, gynocentric, one-sided “Women are victims, men are oppressors” progressism.

  25. Jim Says:

    “It’s not progressism that’s the problem. It’s the kind of progressism employed. In this case, gynocentric, one-sided “Women are victims, men are oppressors” progressism.”

    It’s an antiquated progressivism, which is sad and ironic, that pedestalizes women in some Victorian kind of way.

  26. T. Rose Says:

    How is it Marxism? Marxism supports the workers becuase they are the majority,it’s only by the people for the people like democracy. It’s just so hands on that some benefiting from capitalism will be wary and it’s easily corrupted by dictators.

    Feminism supports women,but women are not the majority,it turns out we are the majority. If anything it’s better compared to the corporatism that exploits the majority for gain. Likewise feminism exploits men for gain,coming up with a hell of a lot of loopholes. It’s only a matter of time before they comes up with a Citizens United outcome favoring women over men.

    I see far more right wing in feminism than I do left wing. It’s sad that they have managed to convince the left wing that they are the oppressed minority instead of the bourgouise. It’s pretty obvious that is the case with all these divorce cases,and stuff like this.

    Even in the conservative US,women are better protected and respected and these kinds of issues are being talked about only in regards to women.

  27. Phil Says:

    Pelle,

    Why do Swedish people accept this man hating? Aren’t Swedish men angry about this? It’s like Sweden is one big brainwashed country. It’s very disturbing.

    And you are correct. Feminism is marxism applied to the sexes. Instead of the capitalists oppressing the workers, it is men oppressing women and husbands oppressing wives.

    I’m guessing the “oppressors” are the Swedish Germanic men, not the arab or black men. Don’t the Swedish Germanic feminists ally with the arabs and other foreigners? Don’t the feminists in Sweden attack mainly the Germanic Swedish men? So there is an ethnic hatred that is promoted also, correct?

  28. Pelle Billing Says:

    Phil,

    Many Swedish men are angry about this, which is very visible in the comments after newspaper articles. A few people are also speaking out publicly, me being one of them.

    Regarding the ethnic aspect I would say that feminists stay away from attacking immigrant men from fear of being called racist. I’ve blogged about that a couple of times on my Swedish blog.
    It also means that immigrant girls are left to their own devices, in circumstances that would never be accepted for Swedish girls.

  29. Vladimir Says:

    Pelle,

    So, in essence, it comes to tip-toeing around political correctness? They will only go as far as the law will let them?

    Come to think of it, I do get the feeling that in Sweden political correctness is ever-present in all aspects of life…

  30. Pelle Billing Says:

    Vladimir,

    We’ve been the quintessential politically correct country for a few decades. It’s starting to crack a bit now, but only slowly.

  31. Eagle33 Says:

    Phil: “Why do Swedish people accept this man hating? Aren’t Swedish men angry about this? It’s like Sweden is one big brainwashed country. It’s very disturbing.”

    Pelle already answered this succintly but I’d like to add an answer as well.

    There are Swedish men who are angry and aren’t taking it anymore.

    But, aside from Pelle, there are very few support structures (that I know of. I’ve never been to Sweden) that would allow them to express their views and feelings. Because Radical Feminism has dictated laws and policy in regards to gender relations. The amount of sway they hold there over much of the lawmakers and populace means it’s pretty risky to have your say as a swedish male who struggles.

  32. Pelle Billing Says:

    That’s exactly right Eagle.

  33. Lisa Harding Says:

    Pelle,

    Gosh, what a harrowing and shocking read. I am stunned that this type of insanity, so obviously unbalanced and distorted gets piped down the throats of young girls and boys there and dressed up as an education & insight in how to move towards ‘gender equality.’

    I don’t see the lesson in equality when you are sending young children home full of fear and gross miscalucation of each other, and overtly damaging the emerging identities of young men, who from my experience, working with many of them for a living, are some of the most sensitive and caring individuals around.

    Radical feminism has created a monster. Which makes me all the more appreciative of the work you’re doing with this.

  34. Pelle Billing Says:

    Lisa,

    Thank you. You put it very well. It’s a monster, disguised as human rights.

    My experience of young men is also that they can be quite sensitive and ready to be molded into productive citizens. And then we completely drop the ball on them…


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